Sorrow followed the bitterness, though he was still smiling. I quietly took in the head of HR's mournful smile. It felt unfamiliar on someone who had always smiled so brightly.

So the seniors had told him about Jin.

Zhu smiled silently before gently breaking the silence.

"I heard. Thank you."

Something welled up inside me at his comforting tone. I struggled to keep my voice steady.

"Please don't thank me. Um, there's something else I need to tell you, sir."

"So you said. Take your time."

"Yes. Outside the core, Jin..."

"Yes?"

"He asked me to give you a message."

Zhu wasn't surprised. He simply watched me in silence, waiting for me to speak.

Looking into his eyes, I began to hear the train running along the tracks again. Its rhythmic clatter as it sped through the darkness. The man who had suddenly asked my name and given me his.

The words he had offered with a smile.

"He asked me to tell you he was sorry."

Zhu never took his eyes off me.

"You tried so hard to help him, but in the end, he couldn't overcome it."

I hadn't fully understood Jin's words. But they seemed to have reached the head of HR all the same, because his eyes grew wet as he listened.

His eyes reddened slightly. The tears that filled them didn't fall. Instead, they crinkled in a smile. Then he lowered his gaze.

Wearing his familiar smile, the head of HR looked at the floor and spoke.

"So that's what he said."

"... Yes."

"Jin was in such a precarious state back then. It wouldn't have surprised me if he'd deserted or taken his own life at any moment. I tried so hard to persuade him to retire instead. But in the end, I missed my chance. One day, he disappeared outside the core and never came back."

"... I should have dragged him back with me. I'm sorry."

"No. Who could be hurting more than you right now?"

Zhu raised his head. Light filtered through the translucent curtains. A white lamp illuminated the quiet hospital room. The head of HR sat composed beside the bed's metal rail.

I silently watched his familiar, kindly smile.

"Thank you for passing on his message," Zhu said.

For some reason I couldn't explain, it hurt terribly. I bit my lip, then forced out a reply.

"... Of course."

"There probably won't be any more official searches for Jin."

What?

My eyes widened at the unexpected words.

Why? Why not? I'd explained everything. Jin had been alive in the subway for ten years. He'd stayed behind to help me, but no body had been found. There was every chance he'd survived.

So why weren't they going to keep looking?

I'd heard he was missing, but I'd assumed they would keep trying to find him. I'd thought Ami and the other seniors were still searching for Jin even now.

My thoughts must have shown on my face. Zhu gave a bitter smile.

"We can't keep officially searching forever for a Badger who goes missing outside the core. Units are perfectly free to search on their own when they're out there. But the official search ends here."

"... But Jin was alive just a few days ago..."

"Too many Badgers go missing outside the core."

As I sat frozen and speechless, the bitterness in Zhu's smile deepened. He spoke softly, trying to reason with me.

"I'm not telling you to give up hope, but..."

"... Even so, haven't you cut the search far too short?"

"Officially, we lost Jin over ten years ago."

I couldn't argue with that. Nor could I get angry. I knew full well that they had spent far longer with Jin Silver than I had. When Jin deserted and vanished, Zhu must have searched for him far more desperately than I ever could. He'd said desertion wouldn't have surprised him, so he must have scoured the territory outside, clinging to the hope that Jin had to be alive.

Gritting his teeth, determined to bring his runaway comrade home.

How long had the Badgers searched before giving up? I couldn't know, but I was certain Zhu had done everything he could.

I worried at my lip before asking,

"Protesting won't change anything, will it?"

"No. It won't."

"Even if I explain what happened in more detail? Even if I go back and point out the exact spot?"

"No."

Zhu answered calmly, then his eyes clouded. He looked at me with sorrow and pain mingled in his gaze and told me,

"I'm sorry. The search has already been closed."

I bit down hard on my lip and lowered my eyes, tasting the metallic tang of blood.

I tried not to let the emotions surging inside me carry me away and make me lash out at someone who wasn't to blame. It wasn't an irrational decision. I just couldn't accept it emotionally.

I fixed my gaze on the hand with the IV needle in it.

"I understand. Thank you for telling me."

The head of HR said nothing for a while. With my eyes lowered, I couldn't see his expression. Silence settled over the hospital room. Only the ticking of the clock brushed against my ears.

After a long while, Zhu broke the silence in a low voice.

"If only we could always know for certain. Don't you think, Hilde?"

I quietly looked at Zhu, smiling through wet eyes. He continued, his smile so faint it seemed about to disappear.

"If only we could always hold our comrades' remains in both hands, bury them ourselves, lovingly stroke their graves, and offer them a prayer full of affection. Wouldn't that be nice?"

So many missing people. Hope visibly crumbling away. A desperate longing they still couldn't bear to let go. All the comrades for whom they might never even have held a funeral because of that lingering attachment.

I knew countless Badgers had left Zhu's side that way. And I knew this man, said to have a natural gift for working with people, must have engraved every one of those farewells on his heart.

So for a long time, I could find nothing to say.

Nothing at all, before someone who had endured more losses than could be counted.

* * *

I had so many questions for Yehyeon, too.

I waited, thinking he might contact me soon, but I heard nothing from him before my discharge. I left the hospital after a five-day stay. Yun came to pick me up. True to his word, he really had waited only until I was discharged.

Not that I minded.

We didn't go straight back to the dorms. It was seven in the morning. Seeing me emerge from my hospital room, Yun said,

"We'll stop by the lab before we head out."

"Where to?"

"My house."

Why?

I let my disgruntled expression speak for me. Yun raised an eyebrow.

"Got a problem?"

"Wouldn't that inconvenience the commander-in-chief?"

"You just feel uncomfortable around him."

"That too. But why go all the way to his house...? Oh, is the commander away on business?"

"No."

Yun's answer was curt. Then he fell silent for a moment.

What was this?

I blinked. It was rare for him not to give a clear-cut answer like this. If he didn't want to answer a question, he'd either evade it or give me a cynical retort about getting too big for my boots.

What had happened this time to make him fall silent with such an uneasy expression?

As I puzzled over it, Yun slowly offered an answer.

"He's in the hospital."

"What?"

Hospitalized?

In the hospital? I stared at Yun with my mouth hanging stupidly open.

"The commander?"

"Yes. He's being discharged tomorrow. I'll drop you off at home and come back here. Training starts tomorrow, so spend today resting quietly, and don't make a mess of the house."

"What's wrong with him?"

I let Yun's nagging go in one ear and out the other.

Only then did something resembling an expression appear on his face. My training officer's refined features creased in a slight frown.

"Stress-induced stomach cramps."

Good Lord.

So even Badgers, with their extraordinary healing abilities, could get those.

Still openmouthed, I looked at my disgruntled training officer. He really didn't seem happy about the situation. And once again, he didn't seem inclined to explain.

What could it be? Had something happened while I was outside the core? Or could I be the cause...? No, that seemed like an excessively self-important assumption.

Either way, I got no answers. Having dropped that bombshell, my training officer turned and walked away without a word. I shut my mouth tight and followed.

We passed through a familiar corridor and entered the lab. Perhaps because it was still early, the place was practically deserted.

There were scientists on the verge of death, energy drinks and coffee piled on their desks. Apart from them, clearly fresh off an all-nighter, no one was there. Morning sunlight poured down, baking rows upon rows of desks. It reminded me of visiting the lab on a weekend.

It had felt like this then, too.

Lost in thought as we crossed the quiet lab, I slowed when my training officer did. He stopped beside John Mühlen.

"What?"

Yun looked at the blue-eyed scientist staring intently at him.

"What's gotten into you? You're actually making eye contact. What is it?"

"The program key."

Looking as unhinged as ever, John fixed a lucid gaze on Yun.

"I need your program key."

"Ah."

Yun gave a brief, low reply, as though he understood.

My training officer shoved one hand into his pocket and started walking through the lab again without another word, jerking his chin once for John to follow. I watched John Mühlen fall in behind him like a ghost.

That was John Mühlen for you. He didn't even seem to realize I was right there.

Still as mad as ever.

Strangely, I was glad he hadn't changed. I was certainly grateful that he'd completely forgotten I existed.

We walked quietly, without exchanging a single word. I had no idea where we were going, but we followed Yun side by side in perfect harmony.

Until he stopped dead, facing a wall.

It was an odd place to stop.

What was it?

"What's wrong?"

My training officer didn't turn at my puzzled question. He stood rooted to the spot, staring at one point without moving a muscle.

His gaze didn't shift. He didn't so much as twitch a finger. John and I stared at the back of his head in puzzlement, blinked, then followed his gaze at the same time.

And saw the same thing.

The lab wall.

A place where something had been mounted. The crude marks left behind. I had to think for a long time to remember what had originally been there.

What had been on the end of those roughly severed cables?

What had been attached to the wall?

"Fucking hell."

Only when Yun spoke, his voice seething with rage, did the answer come to me.

"What fucking bastard...?"

WEEEEOOOO!

["Emergency! Emergency! All personnel assemble immediately! Emergency! Emergency! All personnel assemble immediately!"]

WEEEEOOOO!

["Emergency! Emergency! All personnel assemble immediately! Emergency! Emergency! All personnel assemble immediately!"]

An earsplitting alarm shook the lab.

My training officer and I turned toward John Mühlen in unison. We looked from the pale man's shocked face to the red switch in his hand, dumbfounded.

For a while, we stood just like that. Equally speechless, we stared at the genius scientist, who was staring at the wall as though his world had ended.

John Mühlen, who looked ready to lose his mind at any moment.

John Mühlen, who had pressed some inexplicable red button. John Mühlen, gripped by shock and horror.

Yun recovered first and muttered, "What the hell are you..." But John ignored him and murmured in utter anguish,

"My God, Martin."

Martin was missing.