I really hated rain. I'd hated it even before landing in this godforsaken place. It hid the clear blue sky and made everything unbearably humid.

Every rainy season, the heat was bad enough, but the humidity went so crazy I thought I'd die. If air conditioning hadn't been invented, I probably would have melted into a puddle long ago.

KRA-BOOM!!

"What utterly f*cking shithouse weather."

I swore at the downpour, so heavy it practically blotted out my vision.

I'd even gone to the trouble of praying for the rain to stop, and what did I get? Instead of answering my prayer, they'd punched a hole in the sky. This was why I hated gods. Religious people were fine, but I hated gods.

'Do they really hate me and want to screw me over?'

If so, they were seriously petty. I shook my head.

Anyway, this was the first rain in almost a week, and I'd taken every precaution. I'd put up tarps to keep the oven and furnace dry and brought the tub of fish into the cave.

It was a shame about the fish traps in the river, but I had no choice but to leave them. The rain had started first thing in the morning. I'd been startled awake and scrambled to get everything ready.

'I'll have to learn the warning signs of rain.'

I had a rough idea of how often it rained. But knowing the signs would let me prepare more reliably.

It would be nice if I could figure it out using common sense from my old world... But this was the Forest of Four Seasons. Normal common sense didn't apply. I'd have to learn this forest's own warning signs.

'When is this going to stop?'

I gazed out at the downpour. There wasn't the slightest sign of it letting up.

This rain was in a completely different league from last time. The river must have risen enormously by now. And with those rising waters, all sorts of sea creatures would be coming upstream.

'What'll it be this time? Not another shark-like thing, right?'

I'd better stay on high alert for a while. I didn't want to get robbed right under my nose again.

I was staring blankly at the endless rain when it happened.

"Yeeeelp!"

"Huh?"

An animal's cry cut through the pounding rain. Wondering what was going on, I looked outside the cave.

"Yeeeeelp!"

"Yelp! Yap!"

"Squeak! Squeak!"

A crowd of small- to medium-sized animals had gathered outside. There were raccoons like the one Speedy had dismembered, rabbits, deer, wild boars, enormous rats, and animals I'd never seen before.

As I wondered what they were doing out there, my eyes met those of the raccoon at the very front.

"Yap! Yelp!"

"Squeak squeak?"

"Oink?"

"..."

I had a bad feeling about this. I carefully put up the iron fence. The moment those animals flooded into the cave, the place would be a disaster. Besides, who knew what germs they were carrying?

"Yack! Yack yack!"

Seeing me sneakily put up the fence, the raccoon pointed a finger at me in protest. It seemed to be saying something like, We should all live well together! You think it's okay to keep it all to yourself? You selfish bastard!

My response was very simple. I casually raised my middle finger. I didn't know if the animals understood the gesture, but as long as it made me feel better, that was enough.

'You can't trust these fucking animals.'

Cute little Roundfur and my symbiotic partner, the speed-sloth, were exceptions, of course.

More importantly, those animals were partly to blame. They should have built homes sooner.

'Not that I'm one to talk, having stolen this place from its original owner.'

Anyway, nobody was getting into this house. They were welcome to try. As I snorted and firmly barricaded the cave entrance, the raccoon apparently came up with a plan of its own.

"Yelp!"

"Oiiink!"

The raccoon slapped a wild boar on the flank. Then the boar started pawing at the ground with its hind feet, as though preparing to charge.

The sight immediately filled me with instinctive dread. That bastard was definitely going to charge. That left me with one option: arm myself to the teeth. They couldn't get past the iron fence anyway, so I'd use it to fight a siege.

"SQUEEEEAL!!!"

While I was getting armed, the boar charged at full speed.

Its speed was extraordinary, as you'd expect of an animal from the Forest of Four Seasons. So was its size. It was a monster straight out of an old movie. But I'd learned a thing or two during my fifteen days of survival in this forest.

SHUNK!!

Namely, that reach mattered most. Reach was king. Before the boar could slam into the fence, I drove my aura through the spot between its eyes.

It might have been a little risky with Heavenly Demon's sword. But I was using the Mithricon sword. My aura had already grown ridiculously oversized, and this sword produced an even bigger one. Thanks to that, I stopped the boar before it hit the fence.

THUD!

With its forehead pierced, the boar collapsed. The impact and sound cut through the rain. Most of the animals looked shocked, evidently not expecting it to die so easily.

Keeping my flame-like aura blazing, I beckoned with the sword.

"C'mon, then."

"..."

"C'mon, you fucking animals. Come get some!!"

"YEEEEELP!!!"

And so began a siege fought across a single iron fence. I used my overwhelming reach and the fence to keep the animals at bay.

CLANG!

The rabbits and deer, with their incredibly powerful kicks, occasionally managed to inflict some damage. Thank goodness the fence was iron. A wooden one would have snapped long ago.

"Get the hell out of my house!!!"

"Yeeeelp!"

The siege to defend my home ended with the death of their leader—the raccoon. Once it died, the other animals scattered in all directions. Panting from the unexpected battle, I slumped to the ground.

'Seriously, just when I think I've seen everything...'

Strange. This hadn't happened last time. Maybe the downpour had destroyed all their homes.

I let out a long sigh and looked beyond the fence. All sorts of animals lay dead, starting with the boar I'd killed first. I wanted to butcher them, but I didn't have the time to spare.

'They'll rot quickly in this rain, too.'

It was a shame, but I'd probably have to throw them away. I could just dig a hole and bury them where I'd buried the gorillas.

Fought a siege.

Wild Grylls

(Photo of dead animals outside)

(Photo of an iron fence on the verge of falling apart)

These animals suddenly tried to get into my house, so I had to fight a siege.

If the homeowner says no, it means no. Why the hell are you trying to force your way in;;

└Heavenly Demon Hmm. Could you not have shown a little mercy? Being coldhearted will cost you the people's goodwill.

└Wild Grylls I'm not living in civilization. I'm out in the wild;;

└Heavenly Demon Ah, yes. That slipped my mind. I forgot for a moment.

└Sword Masta A siege against animals... How absurd. You're not hurt, are you?

└Wild Grylls Nope. I slashed away at them with aura from a distance and they all died.

└Sword Masta I suppose it proved useful in a strange way.

└What did the animals do wrong? They just wanted to get out of the rain...

└Wild Grylls After some raccoon stole my fasting pills last time, I realized you can't trust these fucking animals.

└LMAO

└LMAOOO

└Didn't Speedy slice that one in half?

└Wild Grylls Yep. Still better than having them mess up my house.

└Anyway, has anyone ever fought a siege against animals instead of monsters?

└Humanoid monsters like orcs and goblins attack sometimes, but no idea about animals.

└It happens. Wolves. They've fought humans more than any other animal.

└Why aren't there any wolves there? Normally you'd expect some.

└They're territorial, so maybe they're somewhere else?

I watched the users chatting among themselves, then closed the forum. Looking outside, I thought the rain had eased a little. Maybe it would stop in another hour or so.

'I'll assume it rains about once a week from now on...'

Animals came calling on days with heavy rain. I recorded that in my journal.

Roundfur was sleeping without a care in the world, apparently oblivious to the siege I'd struggled through. I couldn't blame him. Nobody had expected it.

DRIP... DROP...

About an hour later, the rain stopped. I looked outside. Bright sunshine greeted me as though it had never rained at all.

THWACK! THWACK!

Not that it did me any good. I was stuck doing the hard work of burying animal carcasses. I dug, praying no earthworms would turn up. Thankfully, no giant earthworms emerged.

"Pwah!"

"... And what are you?"

Just one strange mole.

The mole stared at me with bright, beady eyes before scurrying away. It seemed to have been sheltering underground when the unexpected downpour hit it. After a brief look of disbelief, I finished neatly burying the carcasses.

'The drainage ditch is working fine... Is heading up to the river all that's left?'

The water would still be very high, so there was no need to rush. I had plenty of other things to do anyway. Taking my time was fine.

'It's going to be a real pain if this happens every time it rains.'

Now I had to account for the weather, not just the animals living in the Forest of Four Seasons.

I checked the oven and furnace for problems, then armed myself. Since I had no idea what might jump out of the swollen river, I took Heavenly Demon's sword instead of the Mithricon sword. Roundfur was still sleeping peacefully, so I left Speedy behind with him. When I reached the river, I found exactly what I'd expected.

ROOOOAR!!!

"Goddammit."

I swore at the swollen river. It had all the force of a waterfall laid on its side.

Naturally, the traps I'd set had been thoroughly swept away. The one saving grace lay along the banks, where several fish were flopping around. Taking them back would tide me over until I got more traps.

'But...'

One fish in particular stood out. Last time it had been an eel, but this time it was a pufferfish. Yes, a pufferfish. A fish with a body as round as Roundfur's. A sea-dwelling creature had been swept all the way here.

'Did it rain at sea too? Or what?'

I could accept the eel, since some eels lived in fresh water, but a pufferfish was curious. Surely this kind lived only in the sea. How had it been swept here?

Regardless, I had no intention of eating it. Pufferfish were poisonous. Their poison alone could kill a person, and a Forest of Four Seasons version would be worse, if anything—not any less dangerous.

'They're supposed to be incredibly hard to prepare, too.'

You could get away with roughly cleaning an ordinary fish, but not a pufferfish. They were famously tricky, far beyond anything you could manage by simply copying someone. Apparently, plenty of people on the forum had died after trying to follow pufferfish-preparation videos. Unless you were an expert, it was best not to even consider one.

'I'll send it back, just to be safe.'

Holding my shield in front of me, I gently pushed the pufferfish. Apparently feeling threatened, it puffed its body up tight.

Now that I got a proper look, it wasn't an ordinary pufferfish, but a porcupinefish. If one of those spines pricked me, I'd probably get poisoned or something. The medicine Allfather had given me had made me resistant to poison, but I still needed to take precautions.

'I'll send you home. Go on, hurry up.'

I was nudging it along, rolling it across the ground, when it happened.

KRRRRK!!!

An ominous sound came from the pufferfish.

BA-BA-BOOM!!!

Then, quite literally, it exploded, sending spines flying in every direction. Thank goodness I'd raised my shield the moment I sensed danger. I took almost no damage. The problem was, it wasn't over...

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BA-BOOM!

The spines it had fired exploded in turn, releasing a purple haze. First it inflated its body, then it shot out spines, then those spines exploded. I couldn't help marveling at its three whole layers of self-defense. And that still wasn't the end.

New spines slid out of its now-smooth body, regenerating like shark teeth.

The sight scared me so badly I forgot all about gently pushing it back and just gave it a full-force kick.

SPLASH!

My kick landed the pufferfish squarely in the river. Now it would head downstream to the lake. Or perhaps back to the sea.

"Cough! Cough!"

Racked with violent coughs, I hurried back home.

'How does this happen even when I'm careful?'

This place really was something else.