I didn't put the virility mushroom Papa Raccoon had given me up for sale at the auction house. It wasn't that I didn't trust him. I simply thought I needed an expert's opinion on whether it really did what he claimed and whether it was safe for humans. This was a mushroom, after all.

'I can ask Starlight Lady, right?'

Allfather was too busy to visit the forum often these days, so he was out. That left Starlight Lady. Come to think of it, hadn't I asked her to analyze a mushroom before?

Starlight Lady, could I ask you a favor?

Starlight Lady

Of course. Go ahead.

Papa Raccoon gave me a mushroom.

He says it's good for virility, so I think I should have that verified.

I might not worry about something else, but a mushroom makes me a little uneasy.

Starlight Lady

Sure, understood.

Herbs are another matter, but for a mushroom, you only need to send me a little piece.

All right.

By the way, what did you find out about the mushroom I gave you last time?

Starlight Lady

I forgot to tell you!

It was poisonous.

It contained all sorts of substances harmful to humans.

I see.

Thank you.

Just as I'd thought, mushrooms that practically advertised, "Don't eat me!" were dangerous. The same went for plain-looking ones. It was better not to eat mushrooms at all.

Starlight Lady

If its effects turn out to be genuine, I recommend selling or eating it right away.

Why?

Starlight Lady

Mushrooms spoil quickly.

You could freeze it, of course, but...

Are you going to eat it?

I wouldn't have any use for the effects even if I did, so I was just going to sell it.

Starlight Lady

I see.

I'll check it as quickly as I can!

I'd nearly gotten into serious trouble eating eel before, so I figured it was best to stay as far away from virility boosters as possible. Other people outside the forest might be fine, but I had no way of predicting what this mushroom would do to me. Besides, just because it had worked for Papa Raccoon didn't mean it would have the same effect on humans.

'Still, he did give it to me...'

I'd just grill some snake instead. I grilled and ate the snake with the raccoon family. It was my first time eating snake, but it was quite edible. The texture was surprisingly good, and it tasted rather like chicken. There was a fishy smell I hadn't even encountered with actual fish, but I covered that with salt.

"Yip!"

"Yee! Yip!"

"Yee..."

The raccoon family was pleased when I sprinkled salt on their snake meat, too. After alternating between salted and unsalted pieces, they happily ate only the salted ones. They'd probably never eaten food with salt sprinkled directly onto it like this. It was something of a message: help me out, and you can keep eating things like this.

Perhaps they'd gotten the message, because they held their meat out for more salt. They were unbelievably cute.

I made a hearty lunch of the snake meat.

Starlight Lady

Grylls.

The test results are in.

How did it turn out?

Starlight Lady

That raccoon really seems to know his stuff.

It contains plenty of substances that are very beneficial to men. And it has no toxicity whatsoever.

So I can sell it?

Starlight Lady

Yes.

Whoever takes it is going to have a very happy wife.

An unwelcome pang of bitterness made me smile wryly. Whoever he was, I envied him. Not because he would get to eat this, but because he had someone beside him. No matter how effective it was, you needed someone to share the benefits with, didn't you?

I buried the bitterness and thanked Starlight Lady. Then I contacted the registered user I had in mind.

All Hail the Sun

You have something for me?

Yes.

You were the only person I could think of giving it to.

All Hail the Sun

Looks like it's something edible. Did you ask that dwarf?

Does he want to steep this one in liquor too?

I didn't ask, but that's exactly what I figured he'd do, so I didn't bother.

All Hail the Sun

Just give it to the dwarf.

I've already gotten plenty from you.

Even though it's been verified to be extremely good for men?

All Hail the Sun

How much do you want for it?

All Hail the Sun couldn't resist anything healthy. Especially something good for men—he'd take anything fitting that description.

All Hail the Sun

Thanks.

Let me know if you need anything later.

Oh.

Could I ask for something now?

All Hail the Sun

Name it.

You live in the desert, right?

All Hail the Sun

Sure do.

Why?

Do you get frequent sandstorms there too?

Setan: a nation of dark elves and wealthy people. It was a nation built in the desert, like those in Earth's Middle East. Piecing together what I'd picked up on the forum, its culture and social attitudes seemed similar to the Middle East's as well.

All Hail the Sun

Between spring and summer, I'd say?

That's usually when we get a lot.

Think you'll get them over there too?

That's what I don't know.

Do you have any clothes that work well against sandstorms, or any tips?

All Hail the Sun

There are face coverings that work well against sandstorms.

But staying indoors whenever possible is your best bet.

One might hit when I'm not expecting it.

I'm preparing just in case.

All Hail the Sun

Fair point.

How many do you want?

Six altogether.

One adult size, and five small ones, please.

All Hail the Sun

Planning to put them on your animal friends?

Honestly, I doubt they need them.

Why?

All Hail the Sun

They've lived there their whole lives.

You might just make them more uncomfortable.

Ever seen a video of a dog wearing shoes?

That was a perfect analogy. I'd seen those videos myself. The dogs felt so awkward that all four legs moved out of sync. Dogs had paw pads to begin with, so they didn't need shoes.

The animals living in the Forest of Four Seasons were no different. Just as Roundfur had prepared for hibernation ahead of time, they'd quickly adapt to unexpected changes.

'Besides, I've got Speedy.'

Between the signs Roundfur showed and Speedy's warnings, I could prepare well enough.

I received one face covering for dust storms from All Hail the Sun. It was pure white, perhaps to protect against the desert's intense sunlight.

'Not that I know whether we'll actually get a dust storm.'

A sandstorm could come even if it wasn't spring. I'd witnessed the terrain and environment across the river changing in real time, after all. In the worst case, a sandstorm on the other side might cross the river.

'Surely a volcano won't erupt when there's volcanic terrain over there?'

I'd die without ever knowing what hit me. That was a little scary. Still, the old traces in this cave probably meant things like that didn't happen often.

I spent the day thoroughly preparing for the coming change of seasons.

"Kyoo..."

"Oh! Roundfur, you're awake?"

Roundfur had finally woken from hibernation. His sleepy face was absolutely adorable. He'd slimmed down so much during that short hibernation that I missed his plump little figure. I fed him right away, since there was a little snake meat left.

I wanted to buy him a huge piece of meat from the auction house, but he'd only just woken up. Giving him something big right off the bat might upset his stomach, so I kept the meal light.

"Nom, nom. Nom."

"Is it good?"

"Kyoo!"

The snake meat started putting some energy back into Roundfur. I hugged him and rolled around with him for the first time in a while. That alone warmed my heart.

"Roundfur, let me introduce you to our neighbors."

"Kyoo?"

After rolling around for a good while, I decided to introduce him to the raccoon family. It was still chilly, but the weather was gradually warming. Perhaps that was why he shivered a little without retreating into the cave.

"Come on, say hello. This is the raccoon family. Papa Raccoon, Mama Raccoon, and Baby Raccoon."

"Kyoo?"

"Y-yip!"

"Yee..."

"..."

Despite my friendly introduction, their reactions were starkly different. Roundfur tilted his head in innocent curiosity, while the raccoon family was terrified. Papa Raccoon at least seemed to force out a greeting, but the others couldn't manage even that.

Cub or not, Roundfur was an owlbear—a predator. Beneath that cute exterior lay a ferocious beast. The raccoon family trembled at a mere snake; of course they'd be afraid.

'I just hope he doesn't see them as food.'

Was that even possible? If he did see them as prey and attacked, I intended to stop him immediately. I'd feel awful for the raccoon family, but I'd have no choice but to move them elsewhere. It would be necessary if everyone was to coexist.

Then, once the introductions were over...

"Kyooo! Kyoo!"

"Yee! Yip!"

Roundfur bounded happily around the yard with the baby raccoon on his back. Forget food—he was beaming, apparently delighted to have made a "friend." The baby riding on his back had been frightened at first, but soon grew comfortable.

'Hmm. Excellent.'

As long as I kept Roundfur well fed, there shouldn't be any disasters.

With the neighbors introduced, I logged onto the forum to post. I couldn't keep something that cute all to myself.

Roundfur's awake

Wild Grylls

(Video of Roundfur running around with a baby raccoon on his back)

And he's playing nicely with the neighbor. Looks like they'll get along haha

└Heavenly Demon I can feel my heart settling at ease.

└Slutty Princess So cuuute haha

└Starlight Lady I wish all the posts here were this heartwarming.

└Don't worry. In an emergency, that raccoon's going straight on the fire lol

└It's emergency rations lmao

└Starlight Lady You really are a bunch of trashy bastards.

There were a few jokes about emergency rations, but most people found Roundfur and the baby raccoon adorable. Satisfied, I checked the time. There was still a long while until evening.

What the hell did Kadir say?

Fuck, here comes another shitstorm lmao

But if the Mage King went that far, doesn't that mean it's seriously bad?

I think the Holy Kingdom's genuinely fucked;;

Quick summary

While checking the time, I browsed the forum to see if anything interesting was going on. People seemed to be talking about Kadir, so I opened the top posts and found the place ablaze.

'Why are they bringing up Kadir?'

Kadir, the Mage King, was a celebrity frequently mentioned on the forum. Besides, hadn't Necromancy Is Love mentioned him to me recently? Naturally, a hot topic circulating on the forum piqued my curiosity.

Fuck, here comes another shitstorm lmao

Kadir even issued a public statement. What happens if the Holy Kingdom keeps pulling this shit?

└What did he say?

└Kadir met the pope face-to-face. Then he got pissed and secretly broadcast the entire meeting recording lmaooo

└??? That's possible? At papal headquarters?

└He's the Mage King, dude;;

└It's not that papal headquarters is a joke. Kadir is just ridiculously fucking amazing.

Quick summary

Kadir: Confess your sins to God while you still can.

Papal headquarters: Nah, fuck off. We'll handle it ourselves.

Kadir: You need to look to the people of the Holy Kingdom, not to God.

Papal headquarters: Enter "the common people are dogs and pigs."

└Did they seriously say that?

└Of course not lmao

└The dogs and pigs part was pretty close, though lol

└This isn't going to turn into a civil war, is it?

└Hard to say without anyone to rally around. If the Hero were there...

Outside papal headquarters right now

(Video of a protest)

(Video of protesters shouting curses)

(Video of protesters throwing stones)

(Video of the Paladins blocking their way)

(Video of a bard playing an instrument to invigorate the protesters)

└Okay, I get everything else, but what the fuck is that bard doing? lmaooo

└Showing us why adventuring parties need a bard lol

└Wow, having a bard mixed in with all that noise really changes the vibe lmao

└Seriously, just watching this pumps me up lmaooo

Apparently, Kadir had added more fuel to the fire. The Holy Kingdom was already in an uproar over Ludwig, and now the meeting records had been exposed too.

'Dogs and pigs...'

Wherever you went, there seemed to be people who treated their citizens like livestock. I gave a dry chuckle and closed the forum. It would probably be best to stay off it for a while.

'Will things have quieted down by the time I escape?'

Or would the entire Holy Kingdom be burning? That, I couldn't say. After closing the forum, I turned to look at the yard.

"Kyooo!"

"YEEEEEE!!!"

Roundfur was repeatedly tossing the baby raccoon into the air and catching it. To him, it was just "fun," but the baby raccoon must have been fearing for its life. Papa and Mama Raccoon seemed to be trying to tell him to stop, to no avail.

"Hey! Park Roundfur! Don't do that!"

I rushed to stop him. We still had a long way to go.

* * *

"Pffrr."

"..."

Still riding atop the giraffe, Ludwig stared blankly down at an animal blocking his path.

"Pffrrr."

"Hmm."

The animal blocking the way was none other than a horse. More precisely, one with a black-and-white coat: a so-called zebra.

A paladin riding a giraffe, and a zebra barring his path. It was a truly peculiar standoff.

'It looks dangerous. Such conspicuous tattoos out here on the grasslands.'

TAP, TAP