'Should I kill this guy or not?' I pondered for a brief moment as I watched the squirming bastard.

Going by my concept, killing him was absolutely the right move, but the skill that had been nullified along with an error gave me pause.

【S-Save me...】

The Fury skill had clearly been canceled along with the error. My hypothesis was correct: the trigger for the Fury skill was genuine anger, and by not suppressing my rage and letting it out at the right moment, I could express anger without actually activating the skill.

Of course, perhaps my calculations were slightly off since an error did pop up... but I could worry about that later.

What bothered me right now was the fact that the activation was 'canceled' 'due to an error'.

It wasn't that the skill hadn't been cast; it had been cast, but misfired due to an error.

Naturally, that brought up the following questions. Had the skill truly misfired, or was it actually active but just not visible?

In that case, would killing this guy really benefit me? Looking back, my Madness gauge rose especially fast whenever I killed someone. Wouldn't killing him make the Madness gauge go up?

【Wait, wait a minute!】

Right then, someone came running over in a rush. It was Akata.

【Let me, let me kill him.】

In the child's hand, a blade—grabbed from who knows where—gleamed sharply.

Clear murderous intent and pent-up resentment flowed from the girl's eyes down her cheeks.

【I know my parents did wrong. And I know you did nothing wrong! But, but not him. He, Atart...!】

I had no idea what she was saying. And yet, I felt like I understood. Would it sound strange to say that?

【A wretch like you...!】

Atart thrashed around at that moment. Seeing him clearly thrash about after hearing the child's words quickly cooled my urge to kill him.

"Damn it, kill me! I'd rather die by your hand!"

Especially with him adding words like that.

I chewed my lip slightly. Should I let the child kill Atart, or should I kill Atart first to protect the child?

But was me killing him really an act for the child's sake?

Even so, as an adult, just standing by and watching a child kill someone was a bit...

"What are you hesitating for?"

Just then, the Berserker, sporting a sullen expression after having his prey stolen by me, spoke up.

"If you're going to hand him over, do it quickly. Taking revenge won't change anything, but if she doesn't, the resentment will linger."

He seemed to be complaining about losing his turn, but the substance of his words was quite helpful.

After a bit more consideration, I eventually lifted the foot that was stepping on his chest. Akata's expression brightened slightly, while Atart's face crumpled.

"You bastard...!"

STAB!

The blade pierced his heart. Keugh. His dying scream quickly scattered into the air.

【... Why, why?】

"There is no salvation at the end of revenge."

Someone who had thrown away even his own life for revenge wouldn't deny another's revenge.

But still, I didn't want to watch a child kill someone either.

【Why...】

"So do not ruin yourself by killing something that isn't human."

The madness of murder, which must be borne as the price for resolving resentment, was not a burden for a child.

"You, go live your life."

Was this the right choice? Well. Maybe this was the wrong choice. It might have been right to let the child avenge her resentment herself.

Given the times, even if I killed this human for her, that child might eventually end up with the blood of others on her hands anyway.

However.

Even so.

I didn't want to make that child carry the past of having killed someone at such a young age. I didn't care if I was remembered as the son of a bitch who stole her chance at revenge; I just hoped that, at least for now, those young hands would remain free of blood.

"You are still human, are you not?"

To kill someone, even if it was a means to do what was right, was ultimately the same as giving up a piece of one's humanity.

【Why...! Why won't you let me get my revenge!】

"Even so, if the lingering resentment and hatred prove too difficult to bear,"

【Why, why even the only thing I can do!】

"Pass it onto me."

【Why!!】

"For I will carry it with me."

I walked past the Berserker and DeB, who had stopped soothing the child—the one taken back from Atart—to hold Akata back.

I considered going to Zatab to interrogate them about the curse, but there were already people handling that side. Plus, she was a Priestess brought by the Mountain Lord, so I wasn't sure if we could even communicate.

Thus, I naturally steered my steps toward White Wind.

"You will need to pinpoint the origin of the curse."

"Of course, of course. Don't worry. If anyone is involved, no one in the Great Forest will be able to protect them. And when we find out, I'll definitely hand them over to you."

After that... hmm. I wasn't sure. It wasn't like I had anywhere specific to go.

But that wasn't a very big issue.

Not having anywhere to go was how it always was.

The Archmage let out a sigh of relief as she looked at the young Thief and the gladiator who had successfully carried out her request.

Of course, immediately after that, the Demon Knight killed the Chief of Bigabol, and during the process, Akata had shouted for a chance in front of everyone, but it wasn't a major issue.

Strictly speaking, it was a serious problem, but the entity known as the Mountain Lord ordered them to let it slide for now, rendering it a non-issue at the moment. That was enough.

Given the time and an opportunity to speak, she was confident she could explain things adequately. Though handling Akata, who had tried to kill the Chief in front of everyone, might be a little difficult.

"Wow, what in the world happened here!"

At that moment, White Wind slowly approached. Her carefree demeanor amidst this tangled mess of a situation was remarkably consistent as always.

"I had a tiiiny bad feeling, so I followed the Chief here, and things have sure taken a bizarre turn."

"I agree."

Bigabol and Zatab waged an all-out war. The Chief of Bigabol threw away his humanity, and Zatab used a demonic item, having seemingly joined hands with demons or something. In the midst of that, the Mountain Lord suddenly intervened, resulting in the Chief of Serhang being chosen as the Great Chief.

A mess like this would be hard to witness anywhere else.

"Still, it's a relief it ended well."

The events may have spiraled out in a confusing blur, but the outcome wasn't bad.

For one, the Mountain Lord's appearance perfectly halted the conflict between the two tribes. It entered a complete lull without any rebellion or resistance.

They even complied with the one-sided ruling. At a single command from the Priestess to prove their devotion, they all laid down their swords and submitted to interrogation.

Of course, Bigabol was experiencing a bit of an uproar due to the death of their Chief.

It could be seen as the commotion of having to choose someone else to take command following the death of their highest authority.

In the midst of that, some argued that Akata should be punished for attempting to kill the Chief, while others questioned the truth behind whether the deceased Chief had really gambled his own children's lives.

If the Mountain Lord hadn't told them it was annoying and to knock it off and follow the orders of the Great Chief—the Chief of Serhang—they would still be squabbling.

Although the Chief of Serhang, having suddenly become the Great Chief and forced to work, was sweating profusely.

"Oh my, it's a relief her parents came and found her. But what's that guy's deal, carrying a kid on his head like that?"

At that moment, the person who had snatched the child away from Atart returned. He must have succeeded in finding her parents and handing the child over, as his hands were now empty.

"Ah... She was a hostage. He demanded that we join the fight if we didn't want to see the child die."

"Oh my."

"... What?"

"Couldn't you tell just by seeing how the Demon Knight only stepped in after the child was snatched away?"

"No, well, I did wonder why the Boss Knight had left him alone until now, but that's why??"

For reference, the Inquisitor was healing the injured as usual, and the Berserker was wandering around with the Mountain Lord's permission, looking for a fight.

If anyone so much as rebelled, they would likely get a limb shattered by the Berserker.

"Then is that mark left because of the hostage child?"

White Wind pointed at a massive, perfectly circular clearing blasted right through the densely towering forest. The trees in that specific spot were significantly lower in height; it was absolutely impossible to call it a natural phenomenon.

"There was a massive magical shockwave earlier, too. The Demon Knight did it, right?"

"... That's right. When he demanded our participation... the Demon Knight blew away a part of the forest and threatened him in return. Stating that the moment he killed the children, he would die too. Thanks to that, we didn't get dragged into an unnecessary fight."

"How wise."

"... Indeed."

His methods may have been extreme, but the Archmage also believed the path the Demon Knight chose was the absolute best. Thanks to that, instead of becoming the enemy of any one tribe, hadn't they just saved the people?

However...

["Kill them! I've already murdered my own blood kin; adding the blood of children won't change a thing!"]

She remembered the man who had raged with veins bulging in his neck. Or rather, she recalled the sadness she felt so clearly amidst her anxiety that he might go berserk.

["You are still human, are you not?"]

It was entirely the weight of his sins. The weight of sins that made it so he could never forgive himself.

Karma too heavy for any one person to dare bear, which made even an outsider like her solemn.

"Hmm. Still, it's a relief he didn't go berserk!"

Slowly, she began to wonder how that man was even still standing. Did his desire for death truly stem from nothing but self-hatred?

"Still, you never know, so we should probably put the seal on him, right?"

Even one who wishes for their own ruin needs the strength to run to the cliff's edge.

Was he currently even in a state where he could move forward?

"... I suppose we should."

The Archmage accepted the seal White Wind handed her. Her reason, which told her she had to put it on him, clashed with her emotion, which questioned if she really had to do it right this instant.

Strictly speaking, it was true that she couldn't put it on fast enough, considering the Demon Knight was currently provoked by everything that could possibly provoke him.

"... Um, is it okay? Giving it to him right now?"

"Why wouldn't it be? Honestly, it's a miracle he's held out this long. Wouldn't this be better for the Demon Knight too? If he wears the seal, he won't have to suppress his anger at least!"

"That's... true, but..."

She fingered the seal. The smooth metal was cold to the touch. Just like the warmth the Demon Knight received from the world.

"... Handing this to him now might actually provoke him instead. Being treated like a walking bomb can't be pleasant, after all."

"Then?"

"So I have a favor to ask of you. Keep an eye on him for now. And if he seems to be doing a bit better... or conversely, if he looks too dangerous, put the seal on him or call for the Inquisitor."

"... I don't know the first thing about mana or whatever, so I might miss the timing, sir."

"I trust your eyes."

"... Understood."

Ultimately, she struck a compromise between reason and emotion. This... was the best choice she could make at the present moment.

"And White Wind, you... come with me to contact the Mountain Lord and its Priestess. We're in a situation where we need them to share where Zatab procured that curse jar."

"Of course, of course. Obviously. I've already put the kids to work on the restoration efforts. Since we helped them out for free, surely they won't pretend not to know."

"... Right. Good job."

"Do you think the topic of the mana snakes will come up during Zatab's punishment process? If it does, I'd like to get the authority to investigate that too. I'd also like to request a chat with the Mountain Lord."

"You can try asking about the former. Not the latter."

She then listed out the things she herself could do, one by one. Her feelings were so complicated, yet there was still so much work to be done.

Was it possible the Madness gauge would fill up and trigger the berserk debuff? I moved as far away from the village as possible in preparation for such a situation.

I ended up coming to that waterfall from before—a place I found while traveling from Serhang to Bigabol—but...

SWOOOSH!

I sat down on the rock I had occupied last time. The rock, softly covered in moss, welcomed me with its plushness.

It was nice that there were fewer trees here, allowing a bit of sunlight to filter through. It wasn't blindingly strong, but the presence of the sunshine could be felt as if it were physically touching me... It was cozy and made me pleasantly drowsy.

Because my body was unaffected by ambient temperatures, I couldn't even feel hot, which made it even better. I felt like my mood was improving slightly.

「Health 2,457/2,457

Mana 2,941/2,941

Fatigue 17

Satiety 84」

However, this wasn't a situation where I could just idle the time away. I debated whether or not I should drain my HP to prepare for an emergency.

I knew the Madness gauge seemed to rise significantly when killing someone, but I didn't know the exact criteria for its increase.

In other words, I couldn't be sure if it would go up or not just from me sitting still.

And if it was the former and not the latter... yeah. That would be a bit of a problem.

I recalled the time when I was tightly restrained. Along with the pulverized castle they showed me, claiming it was my doing.

It wasn't like I couldn't avoid that sight this time around... but if that happened, wouldn't my head literally roll? Avoid it at all costs.

"Ah, the seal..."

It felt like it would've been pretty nice to have the seal right now.

But since I didn't have it, what other choice did I have? I resolved to carry multiple spares around instead of just one, and raised my dagger.

Let's chop off exactly two-thirds, no more, no less. For a moment, the memory of a certain game flashed through my mind—one where I had to deliberately drain my HP to master a healing skill.

Back then, I made a huge fuss, intentionally dropping to near-death and maintaining a poisoned status. I was steeped in nostalgia for a brief moment.

"Waaaah!! Boss, what are you doing!"

THUD!

But was it because I had briefly gotten lost in my memories?

It happened—a traffic accident.

SPLASH!

While I was sitting on the rock, a presence approached from behind—I had stopped my attempt to dodge upon hearing the voice—and collided with me.

Naturally, since I was sitting on a rock, taking a hit there meant I had no choice but to fall off. And right in front of the rock was the waterfall.

DeB and I plunged side-by-side into the waterfall.

"Pfft-pfft-pfft!"

Thankfully, we fell into the pooling basin at the bottom of the waterfall, so we weren't swept away by rapid currents. It was also a huge relief that it was only chest-deep.

"... Do you want to die?"

Safety aside, it wasn't a relief for my concept!

I shook my head to flick off the water and looked back. Proving he was indeed a cat, DeB had puffed up his fur the moment he touched the water, stiffening rigidly with a shriek.

"S-Self-harm is bad, sir..."

No, when did I ever intend to commit such a gruesome act?

My brain slammed on the brakes right before I formulated that thought. From a gamer's perspective, what I was about to do was merely draining my HP; but from their perspective, it was simply self-harm.

Ah.

"R-Rather than doing that, please put on the seal. Why would you resort to self-harm..."

'Th-That's a misunderstanding. Well, it's not a misunderstanding, but it's a misunderstanding. Sure, I was deliberately trying to drop my HP because I was worried about going berserk, but it wasn't born out of self-hatred. Anyway, it's not what you're worried about!'

I bit my lip at this complex and profound situation that I simply couldn't bring myself to explain.

My 'low self-esteem' setting had deepened without me even wishing for it. This was troublesome.

"Hup!"

Just then, DeB, who had been studying my reactions, lunged forward to snatch the dagger. I reflexively pulled my hand holding the dagger back.

'You crazy bastard, what are you doing trying to grab the blade! You'll cut your hand!'

"Get lost...!"

"I will only be taking the dagger, sir!"

'I won't do it! I said I won't do it!'

I firmly shoved DeB's head back while keeping my hand with the dagger behind me.

DeB, whose face was getting squished by my hand, flailed his arms around, but unfortunately, my character was just under ten centimeters taller than him. Meaning my arms were longer by that much, too.

So he could absolutely never reach. 'Go away, you Thief!'

"Agh. Boss, why are your arms so long!"

"I told you to get lost...!"

'You'll catch a cold, you punk! Get out of the water!!'

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Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer? (Novel) Chapter 129 - Enough With That (4)

Updated 1 week ago