Chapter 176. For Now (4)

In the early days, I hadn't given much thought to the Demon Knight's situation prior to my login.

It was natural, since the pasts of playable characters in games usually ended up as MacGuffins or were naturally revealed during the story.

However, when the thought crossed my mind that this place might be reality, I had been half prepared for it.

It would have been a relief if this body was created upon my login, but the possibility that I had possessed an already existing human's body wasn't zero either.

But even knowing that, I deliberately turned a blind eye to it. The former was one thing, but the latter would give me far too much to think about, making it a sheer act of escapism.

Even so, when the time came, when a situation arose where I could find out like now, I had no intention of running away either.

As I always say, my life motto was 'There is nothing as useless as claiming something is impossible, and therefore it is better to focus on the present.'

"What do you mean by it being full of doubts and speculations?"

—It's not as profound a story as it sounds. It's just that all sorts of rumors were attached to you because you moved alone without making your whereabouts known. There were barely even any eyewitness accounts of how you got around.

But would I really be able to do the same this time?

—On top of that, well, haa. I'll just be blunt. Whenever an eyewitness account finally came in, it was always 'he only listens to stories of criminals or demons before leaving' or 'he seems to have a bitter grudge against killing them'... so who wouldn't harbor doubts? Anyone who enjoys gossiping about others would have definitely brought it up at least once.

Would I be able to focus on the truth handed to me and endure the crushing weight that came with it?

—Is that the end of your questions?

Just like I did once before at a turning point in my life, would I be able to overcome it this time too?

"... This is the last one. How were you so sure?"

—Uh, what do you mean?

"That I am the exact same person as the entity from back then."

—Ah. That's... because you're using the Knight's name?

"...?"

—...? Well, if you impersonate a knight, you face sanctions, don't you? Especially if you have your name registered with any organization, be it as an adventurer or a mercenary. And yet, you've been freely using the Knight's name... not to mention you're the only adventurer in the last forty years to be granted the title of Knight. So, of course, I assumed it was you...?

I don't know. Right now, I can't be absolutely certain of anything.

"... Understood."

Whether it was a trial the size of a house or an apartment, they both felt like equally insurmountable walls when standing right in front of them.

—Um, then would it be alright if I asked a question as well?

"Speak."

—Regarding your memories being unclear, is there anything I should do?

I remained silent at the Lord of Bergart's question.

'Something he should do.' Did he say that knowing there was a demon in my right arm? Or did he simply mean he was worried for me as his benefactor?

"No."

Either way, there was only one response I could choose. With that, I ended the communication.

I leaned back, straightening my body that had been hunched forward during the conversation. SINK. The plush sofa caught my back.

"Do you have any further business?"

"Yeah."

With the Mage tactfully taking his leave as well, I was finally given some time to agonize alone. My right hand rested over my eyes.

So many thoughts were surging up that my ears had gone irritatingly numb.

Even so, it was hard to stop thinking.

Agonizing over whether all the facts I had just heard were the official character's backstory, a reflection of the concept I had crafted, or the actions of a completely different person.

Questioning where on earth my current gear had come from, if the Demon Knight from two years ago had worn completely different equipment.

Doubting what kind of unknown power could have orchestrated all this if it was a reflection of my concept, or where the real Demon Knight had disappeared to if these were the actions of someone else.

All of it—it was too hard to stop.

"Haa."

But unfortunately, there wasn't a single answer I could come up with right now.

After all, these weren't answers I could just figure out without any prior information, having been dropped into the middle of all this. It was something I'd have to hear from the system that had played this trick, or...

... From the real Demon Knight, who had evaporated somewhere or was currently in hiding.

"Huu."

I remained submerged in the darkness of my palms for a long while.

Then, the moment I lowered my hand, I gathered up all those stray thoughts. Fortunately, it wasn't that difficult.

The problem was just that there were too many surging hypotheses and speculations; it wasn't as if my emotions were fluctuating wildly enough to blind me.

As for the reason, well. I supposed pouring out as much of my pent-up frustration as I could in the bathroom had helped. I simply lacked the energy to cry, laugh, or get angry anymore.

Just as a brazier without firewood couldn't burn, it felt as though I didn't even have any emotions left to burn through.

"... What meaning does any of this even have?"

Although, why did the deep sense of skepticism I had barely pushed aside earlier always manage to find me so easily?

Well, it wasn't like I didn't understand why.

Even though I already knew this wasn't a game, hadn't I been desperately turning a blind eye to it just to make things a little easier to bear?

But dropping a bombshell like this right in the middle of all that? It would be one thing if they gave me a fully logical explanation, but leaving me with this vague sense of reality inevitably filled me with miserable self-reproach.

"If it's going to be like this..."

If there was no ending, and thus a high likelihood that every bloody struggle I had fought through to see that ending was entirely meaningless...

Then it was only inevitable that I'd end up wanting to just quit everything and hole up in some quiet corner of the countryside.

"If it's going to be like this..."

Or... or...

I slowly lowered the arm covering my eyes.

My right arm wrapped in a gauntlet—the arm whose skin hidden underneath would be pitch black—came into view.

A reality that was likely not just a mere setting.

"Goddamn it."

DRIP.

I covered my eyes again, unable to spit out my final words.

For your sakes, I suppressed that final impulse at the very least.

After all, no matter how much of an unfilial son I was, there was at least one pathetic sight I didn't want to show you until the very end. Even if none of this would ever reach you.

["Then that is enough. It's fine if you fail, and it's fine if you ruin it all. As long as you can find meaning in your own life, I will support you."]

Because that was the only thing I could ever give back to you.

SCRAPE.

Furthermore, in that same vein, I chose to stand back up once again. It was a choice relying on the razor-thin hope that even if the ending might not have any meaning, it also still could.

Or perhaps it was simply the spite of wanting to struggle just a bit longer until I figured out the whole truth, since I had already come this far anyway. After all, sheer grit was the base stat of any average K-gamer.

The legs I had forced up trembled for a moment, but that weakness was soon hidden after a few steps.

It was time to step back onto the stage.

CLACK.

"... You finally came out."

"...?"

But when I opened the door to leave the room, the Archmage and Deathbringer were waiting for me.

Behind them, the two Young Lords were watching my mood like hawks.

"What is it."

'Uh, did they come looking for me? Why? Because I left the Temple without a word?'

"You..."

'Ah, come to think of it, I guess there are plenty of reasons for them to come looking for me. Actually, even if there weren't, it makes sense that they would.'

If a guy who had just woken up from an eleven-day coma didn't just empty his hospital room but straight-up left the hospital entirely, someone had to come drag him back, be it his guardian or his attending physician.

Though the Priests acting as my doctors had been too busy sweating and walking on eggshells around me to actually do it.

"First, let us return to the Temple. I must also express my gratitude to the Young Lord for providing us with a room."

"I-It was nothing. Please, stay as long as you need."

"No. We cannot impose on you for too long."

The Archmage, on the other hand, who was essentially acting as my guardian, tried to drag me away through gritted teeth.

Beside him, the Deathbringer was endlessly casting sidelong glances at me. A sudden, out-of-place longsword was dangling in his grasp.

"Your business."

I wondered why the Deathbringer was holding a longsword he didn't even use, but I brushed it off without much suspicion.

Instead, deciding that my concept's main charm was a stubborn refusal to listen, I stood my ground in front of the parlor doors.

The Archmage made a face that clearly showed he was furious but couldn't quite bring himself to lash out. It was a look of pure exasperation.

"... Is that really what you should be saying right now?"

"Um! Boss, you need to hear about how the situation turned out, and you also need to eat something..."

But before his exasperation could boil over into outright rage, DeB shouted at the top of his lungs. And he actually made a pretty compelling point.

'Though I wonder why he's offering to tell me now when he refused to say anything earlier. Not to mention I've already heard a bit from the Young Lords.'

'Still, I do need to hear what our next move is.'

"... I don't know if this is the right move."

"..."

'Above all else, just hearing the word 'eat' made my stomach growl properly. Damn it, I had completely forgotten about my hunger until now!'

* * *

Was it to make up for her own weakness that she had asked the Berserker for a sparring lesson?

Before long, one bout turned into two, and two turned into three, until the entire morning had completely flown by.

The Inquisitor naturally made her way back to the dining hall. It was partly because it was lunchtime, partly because she had worked up an appetite from the training, and partly out of an unconscious habit of expecting everyone to be gathered there.

"Hahaha! I'm starving!"

"We're bac— Uh..."

But what on earth was with this heavy atmosphere?

Scraping together every last ounce of tact she possessed, the Inquisitor frantically rolled her eyes around the room. The quiet dining hall seemed the same as always, yet it somehow felt much stranger.

It was a subtle, inexplicable difference.

"Oh! Comrade! You're awake?!"

"U-Um, you're awake? How is your body feeling?"

Of course, it was a wonderful thing that the Demon Knight's seat—which had been empty for the past ten days—was finally occupied again. Seeing him actively eating also felt like solid proof of his recovery, filling her with relief.

And yet... And yet...

"Berserker is hungry too. Let's eat together."

The Inquisitor glanced at the silently eating Demon Knight, then over to the Archmage and the sly-looking guy who had just picked up their utensils across from him.

What was worse, that sly guy was still awkwardly clutching the longsword he had claimed he was going to gift to the Demon Knight.

'Something's wrong. I don't know what it is, but something is definitely wrong.'

She blinked.

"Um..."

"You've arrived."

She had no idea what was going on. The Inquisitor stared at the suspiciously nonchalant Archmage before turning her gaze back to that sly guy.

Then, she shot him an intense glare. 'What the hell is going on?' 'Just sit down and eat your food.' A desperate, silent exchange of eye signals took place between them.

"But what's all this? There's a ton of food today!"

"... I had them prepare a bit extra in advance since I figured you two would be arriving soon. The soup should be out momentarily, so feel free to start on the other dishes if you're hungry."

"Ooh! Thanks!"

'Whatever. Let's just sit down.'

The Inquisitor cautiously gauged the mood in the room as she took her usual seat three spaces down from the Demon Knight.

Was it because this was his first meal since waking up from his ten-day coma? The spread laid out in front of the Demon Knight was roughly double the portion he usually ate. Even fish had been served in place of his usual meat.

"... Since you're all here, allow me to go over our schedule moving forward."

"Yep."

'Well, I'm glad there's at least fish for him.'

Thinking back on how increasingly emaciated the Demon Knight had been looking lately, she silently prayed that he would stuff himself as much as possible with this meal.

"I informed you previously that we would be heading back to Camberer first, as the routes from Ednium to other cities are rather inconvenient. Since we are heading back to Camberer anyway, we've decided to coordinate our departure with the Young Lord. As a result, it seems our departure will be delayed by a few days. I'm told the Young Lord has been quite tied up."

"Wait... what?"

But the Archmage's explanation only filled her with confusion, as it was slightly different from what she had previously been told.

'It's true that we decided to coordinate our schedule with the Young Lord, but didn't they say they would base their schedule entirely around ours?'

"Furthermore, we have yet to receive any leads regarding the demon who escaped with Biryuho's corpse."

'And what's this about the escaped demon?'

'As far as I remember, hadn't we concluded to completely abandon the search for that demon two days ago?'

"Um, Archmage. About those leads..."

The Inquisitor tried to raise her hand to clarify the situation.

If she had simply misremembered, that would be a grave mistake on her part; but if there was new information that everyone except her had been briefed on, that was a completely different problem altogether.

STOMP.

However, the sudden, crushing pressure on her foot instinctively stopped her in her tracks.

The Inquisitor reflexively snapped her mouth shut, sharply narrowing her round eyes as she glared at the seat directly across from her.

'Why the hell did you step on my foot?!'

'Read the damn room!'

A silent, vicious squabble quickly flashed back and forth between the Inquisitor and the Deathbringer.

"Once our business here is wrapped up, I believe we will be heading to Bemurhen next. It is a location that will take over a month just to reach, but... it is home to the largest Magic Tower in the eastern region."

While they bickered, the Archmage slowly rattled off all the plans they had discussed and finalized while the Demon Knight was asleep.

Though he spoke as if addressing the entire group, it was obviously a briefing meant solely for the Demon Knight's ears.

"Once we arrive in Bemurhen..."

Aside from housing the largest Magic Tower, Bemurhen was also a city currently embroiled in a fierce war against the mermen.

Since they would have nothing but battles ahead of them once they arrived, the subtle warning to nurse his body back to its absolute peak condition was a message meant specifically for him.

"... I was thinking it might be best to have your body examined there one more time."

At least, that was what she had heard previously. Even though the Archmage was currently omitting that part for some strange reason.

She kept her mouth shut, figuring there had to be a reason why he was leaving it out.

Because deliberately leaving out information was entirely different from passing on false information.

"So, if at all possible, please try to preserve your body until then."

'Still, I really wonder why he told me a completely different story earlier.'

Resolving to ask him about it privately later, she blankly glared down at the dining table. 'I'm starving.' The mouthwatering aroma of the food constantly wafted up to torment her empty stomach, which she had worked all morning.

"As for any other matters... Ah, right. Biryuho's corpse is entirely yours to claim. What do you plan to do with it? If you wish to forge something out of it, I can connect you with an artisan."

"I'll sell it."

"... I will arrange a proper buyer, then."

Fortunately, the Archmage's briefing wasn't too long. And as an added bonus, her bowl of soup arrived right on time.

A perfectly natural opening had finally presented itself for her to pick up her spoon.

"... What are you doing?"

Especially with that sly guy glaring daggers at her.

'It should be fine to start eating now, right?' The Inquisitor rolled her eyes around a couple more times before gingerly picking up her spoon.

Although the Berserker was already mindlessly shoving everything on the table into her mouth—completely ignoring the soup meant to signal the start of the meal—she was just relieved to finally be able to eat.

A silent lunch began.