How would Smartass thwart Brooks Besilza’s scheme? By intervening personally. There was no other way to guarantee the slime’s safety in the first place.

Most of the other viewers were undoubtedly on the Demon Continent. Even those on the Dersia continent would hardly know where the Mage Tower was, let alone have a way to reach it instantly when the slime was in danger.

‘Besides, if another viewer showed up, it would cause an unbelievable uproar.’

Even if they arrived, they would only think about the slime, without considering how the other humans were treated or what position they were in. If things went wrong, they might even leave the humans convinced that the slime was a threat.

Before becoming a lich, Smartass had reached this secret workshop using the experimental Warp spell he had been working on. After becoming a lich, he had refined it further and perfected it. He could travel to the Mage Tower at a moment’s notice; its coordinates were the ones he knew best. Having calculated his Warp coordinates in advance, he watched events unfold on the stream.

‘Brooks...’

He felt anger as he watched Brooks Besilza once again try to eliminate the slime under the guise of a magical accident, just as he had when he betrayed him.

Smartass moved before Brooks Besilza could carry out his trick. Using his improved Warp spell, he first sent only his hand through, then shattered Brooks Besilza’s spell and caused his mana to flow backward.

He also intended to use a new spell he had created since becoming a lich: Telepathy, a spell for conveying thoughts, inspired by the system’s voice. This was his first time using it on a monster, so he planned to test it while touching the slime to get a feel for it.

He gave it a squeeze!

‘So this is how Squishy feels! Much nicer than I expected. Now I understand why everyone on the stream keeps touching Squishy.’

There was a minor mishap along the way, as the slime felt so pleasant that he absentmindedly kneaded it several times, but Smartass successfully sent it a telepathic message. When the slime’s stream switched off, confirming his success, he revealed himself and placed the slime on his skeletal palm. Then he began his performance, sending the slime another telepathic message as he did.

[Squishy, please stay still from now on. That’ll keep everyone safe.]

"I came because I sensed unusual mana. I never imagined its source would be a slime. And to think I would find a Saintess and a Paladin here together."

First, he made a point of suggesting that he had no direct connection to the slime, while also making it clear that he had not come for the Saintess or the Paladin.

"Hmm. The more I look, the more intriguing it becomes. How can a slime possess mana like this?"

There was nothing particularly distinctive about the slime’s mana, but he added the claim that it was special to make his arrival as a lich more plausible.

"G-give Quivery back, lich!"

Amelia shouted at Smartass in a trembling voice. The tremendous aura of death emanating from him made her shrink back, but she could not simply abandon the slime.

"Quivery? Hahaha! A Saintess naming a slime and even keeping it as a pet? This grows more intriguing by the moment."

Smartass intended to leave with the slime. Even if he appeared and thwarted Brooks Besilza now, Brooks could still lure it into another trap by claiming he needed to examine it again. In that case, he thought it better to take the slime to his secret workshop for its safety.

"Lich! What have you come here for?"

Paulen questioned Smartass without lowering his guard.

"Hmm? Are you deaf? I sensed unusual mana and came out of curiosity. Do you still not understand, even after seeing me personally save this slime from being destroyed in an explosion? Yes, certainly..."

Smartass pointed at Brooks Besilza with the skeletal hand that was not holding the slime.

"You are the one who tried to eliminate this slime."

Startled at suddenly being singled out as the culprit, Brooks Besilza hurriedly began making excuses.

"N-no! I was only trying to determine what kind of slime it was! That was a magical accident! An accident!"

He could have pressed further and conclusively exposed Brooks Besilza as the culprit. But that would worsen relations between the Mage Tower and the Church, and the fallout might reach not only his descendants but his older cousin, who was still alive. And so...

"That beard. I don’t like it."

"W-what?"

Smartass cast a spell on that flimsy pretext. A tiny magic circle formed at the tip of the finger pointing at Brooks Besilza, and a beam of dark red light shot out.

"What?!"

Paulen could not move rashly while protecting Amelia and Gracie. Brooks Besilza hastily conjured a magic circle to create a barrier, but Smartass’s dark red beam struck him before he could.

"Aaaaaaargh!"

"T-Tower Master!"

Pain like his entire body was being seared assailed Brooks Besilza, more intense even than the mana backflow. It was concentrated particularly on his chin and the area above his upper lip. For a moment, both he and everyone else thought the lich had cast the spell to kill the tower master.

Yet Smartass’s spell tormented Brooks Besilza for only a very short time—three seconds at most. The dark red light vanished after those three seconds, and the pain vanished with it.

"Hah! Hah! Hah!"

‘A-am I alive?’

He had failed to block the lich’s spell. He had been lamenting that his life was about to end, yet he was still alive.

"Tower Master, a-are you all right?"

"Y-yes. I’m all ri..."

PATTER.

It happened just then. As he answered Gracie, something soft fell all at once with a pattering sound, and Brooks Besilza felt a coolness around his chin that he had not experienced in decades.

"Huh...?"

Reflexively, he brought a hand to his mouth. The warmth of his hand reached the skin of his chin, with nothing in between. He could no longer feel the beard he had grown and meticulously groomed for decades.

Brooks Besilza lowered his gaze to the floor.

"Ah, aaah..."

And there he saw it: his long beard, lying on the ground.

Memories of his beard flashed through Brooks Besilza’s mind like his life passing before his eyes. The agony of hair loss. The reality he refused to accept. The days when life held no joy. Growing a beard might initially have been a compromise, but at the time it had also been his desperate struggle to keep living.

His beard had been his only hope for hair. The longer it grew, the more it filled the emptiness left by what he had lost up top. The affection he had once lavished on his flowing locks eventually shifted to his beard. He checked its condition every day and kept it clean. He compared the beards of the mages around him to his own and took satisfaction in his superiority. Now that beard had fallen out completely and lay strewn across the floor.

"Aaaaaaaaaah! My beard! M-my beeeeeeeard!"

Brooks Besilza’s anguished cry resounded throughout the room.

"Bwahahahaha! It suits you wonderfully! Not just your head, but the bottom of your face is smooth as well!"

To Smartass, those screams brought the greatest satisfaction.

The spell he had fired at Brooks Besilza was one he had prepared especially for him. From the moment he had seen Brooks Besilza on the slime’s stream, he had worked on it to plunge him into despair should they ever meet again. Naturally, it did not merely make his beard fall out.

"That beard of yours will never grow again!"

"W-what?! Ah, ah, aaaaaaauuuuurgh!"

THUD!

Unable to withstand Smartass’s shocking declaration, Brooks Besilza foamed at the mouth and passed out on the spot.

"T-Tower Master!"

"Bwahahaha! What an entertaining spectacle!"

With those parting words, Smartass began to retreat into the black space he had opened.

"No! Quivery!"

Realizing that the lich really would disappear with the slime if this continued, Amelia reached out and used a holy art. It was not a healing art, but an offensive one meant for use against the wicked: Holy Sword, which she had only ever used in practice, never in actual combat. Five swords of light appeared in midair and flew toward Smartass.

WHOOSH, WHOOSH, WHOOSH, WHOOSH, WHOOSH!

But with a single gesture from Smartass, a black barrier spread out.

CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG!

The five swords of light failed to pierce the barrier, bounced off, and vanished in midair.

‘As expected, she’s less skilled than Fresia.’

Smartass thought she had plenty of holy power, but her lack of combat experience made her slow both to deploy her holy arts and to assess the situation. The Paladin before her, unable to act rashly and placing her protection above all else, was proof that she still had many shortcomings. Even now, Paulen was bracing for an immediate counterattack from Smartass, strengthening his defenses rather than attacking.

And so Smartass decided to continue his performance a little longer.

"Oh? It seems this slime is quite precious to you. Very well, then. I shall show you mercy."

Smartass gave the slime a few more squeezes as he spoke.

"Once I lose interest, I shall release this slime."

"What?"

"Is that true?"

Amelia and the Paladin were bewildered. A monster that belonged in legends—a lich, said to be the ultimate fate of a fallen mage—was showing goodwill?

"Of course, when I release it, I’ll simply leave it wherever I please! Hahaha! See if you can find it!"

"Ah...!"

Only then did Amelia and Paulen realize that the lich had not been showing them goodwill. He had been toying with them. With those words, Smartass finally disappeared into the black space he had created.

"Ghh!"

"Quiveryyyyy!"

Paulen clenched his fist in helplessness, while Amelia cried out the slime’s name in anguish.

+++

After returning to his secret workshop with the slime, Smartass spoke to it telepathically.

[I’m going to open a private room now, Squishy. I’ll give you the keyword, so come on in.]

Private rooms were one of the streaming system’s features. They appeared only when a specific keyword was entered into the search box on the stream list.

Most monsters never used the feature, even though it was available. Why? Because they had nothing in particular to hide! Besides, a monster willing to keep streaming was hardly likely to care enough about other people’s opinions to create a private room. They considered sharing the keyword with everyone individually a nuisance and saw no reason to do so. Even if they initially learned of the feature from the system’s voice, they gradually forgot about it over time.

Following Smartass’s instructions, the slime entered the keyword into the room search.

‘Natural-magic practitioners are the best!’

The private room Smartass had opened appeared in the search results. The slime entered it and immediately used the chat.

[Squishy]▶Where are we?

▷This is my workshop.

[Squishy]▶Workshop?

▷Think of it as my home.

[Squishy]▶Smartass’s home!

Fascinated, the slime bounced around, exploring the secret workshop. It was dark, but that posed no problem for the slime. After making a circuit, it stopped bouncing and typed in the chat again.

[Squishy]▶When are we going back?

When Smartass had telepathically asked the slime to stay still, it had obeyed. In truth, it had not understood what had just happened. But the request came from Smartass, who had helped it all this time, and Amelia, Paulen, and Gracie had not been hurt. So the slime had stayed still rather than taking action.

At the end, it had heard Smartass say he would release it, so the slime innocently asked when it would return to Amelia and Paulen’s side. And Smartass answered its question.

▷Sorry, Squishy. Your life’s in danger, so you can’t go back right away.