Very fortunately, the Regressor had a habit of hearing someone out before executing them. Usually, it was a habit she had cultivated to extract information before killing them, but still, I was grateful she at least allowed time for a closing argument. She was better than the Military State.

Even after hearing the whole story, the Regressor's expression remained icy. She spun Sky Cherry Blossom menacingly, looking between Azi and me.

"So you're saying you were going to wash Azi because she was dirty?"

"Isn't that obvious? Just look. I've set up beside the water tank with a crate for a bathtub, a hose, and even soap. What could this possibly be besides a bath?"

"Who knows?"

Perhaps her suspicions had eased a little. The Regressor sent Sky Cherry Blossom floating above her head again and folded her arms. But her expression remained doubtful.

"You might have been using that as an excuse to do something inappropriate."

"What? No, seriously. That's ridiculous."

I could put up with other things, but not that particular accusation. Indignant, I released Azi and stood up. At the loss of my touch, Azi, who had been squeezing her eyes shut, pricked up her ears and opened her eyes a sliver.

"Enough! There's a limit even to an incoherent misunderstanding born of shallow, inadequate thinking! I am human, a lord of creation! I may be buried underground right now, but to suggest I'd take an interest in a mere beast? Not a chance! Go back to school and study the difference between primates and dogs!"

"Woof? Me, no bath?"

"No. You're getting washed today, no matter what. Wait there. Even if the sky falls and I tumble into the bottomless pit, I am going to get you clean."

"Whine..."

Leaving Azi with her ears and tail drooping, I rounded on the Regressor.

"Then what do you propose? If you can't trust me with Azi, are you going to wash her yourself, Trainee Shei?"

The Regressor answered reluctantly.

"... If she absolutely has to be washed, I'd rather do it myself."

"Why is it fine for you, but not for me?"

"You're a man, and Azi's a woman. You taking her clothes off and... Ahem! Even if you don't have any ulterior motives, you can't do that! It's indecent!"

What on earth was in this Regressor's head that she went around thinking this sort of thing all the time? When had I ever entertained an improper thought? Not once had I ever...

Uh. Hmm.

Such a thought might, very briefly, flash through one's mind. Humans did sometimes tend to be swayed by impulsive, primal urges. They said shepherds in remote places who never saw another person occasionally committed acts of madness too appalling to put into words.

But overcoming instinct with reason was precisely what made us human. A momentary lapse did not define me.

I swept my hair back and exhaled deeply.

"Trainee Shei, do you happen to see Azi in a sexual light?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You don't? You don't have any thoughts when Azi presses herself against you? It doesn't bother you when she's half naked?"

"Of course not."

"Then you could wash her and finish the job without any impure thoughts?"

"Naturally."

"If that's true of you, Trainee Shei, why assume it can't be true of me?"

"Because..."

'Because you're a man and I'm... Oops. Right. I'm disguised as a man right now!'

Huh?

Oh, right. You were pretending to be a man.

Even I'd forgotten for a moment. But how could you forget it yourself? Why even bother with the disguise, then...? Ugh, never mind. Her head was so full of dirty thoughts that she'd disguised herself as a man for fear of having "something improper" done to her in prison. Tsk, tsk. Talk about self-conscious.

Oh, hold on. A disguise. It hadn't occurred to me earlier, but...

I might be able to use this.

I composed my voice and addressed the Regressor, who had trapped herself in a contradiction.

"Do you realize how suspicious you're being right now? You were just hounding an honest, innocent person simply because he's a man, and now you, another man, want to bathe with Azi? Those motives sound questionable."

"No! I never said I'd bathe with her!"

"Then what? You said it was indecent for me to wash her because I'm a man. Then you claim you wouldn't have any impure thoughts. Does that make sense? Wow, so when you do it, it's a romance that transcends species, but when someone else does it, it's bestiality? That's honestly frightening."

"Bestiality? Azi's a woman!"

The Regressor hurriedly defended herself, blushing, but that was a bad move. I clapped a hand to my forehead and gaped as though profoundly shocked.

"Good heavens! So because you're confident you could love Azi as a woman, your love is true love, while my touch, devoid of feelings, is mere molestation? Huh? Doesn't something sound wrong there? Obviously, touching someone with those feelings involved is more indecent!"

"I never said that!"

"What's the difference? You and I are in exactly the same position! Yet you stop me for being indecent, while it's perfectly fine for you? Doesn't even your own logic sound a little strange to you?"

"Urgh...!"

Whew. Reading the Military State's general education book 'Let's Play, Logic' cover to cover in secondary school was really paying off.

Defeated by my flawless logic, the Regressor gritted her teeth.

'Grr...! How can every single word out of his mouth be this infuriating...!'

It was infuriating because your logic was a shambles compared to mine, obviously. People naturally envied and resented an unbeatable superior. Drown in the tempest of my logic.

"Haha! So what will you do now? You've tied yourself in knots! Whatever you choose, your own logic will devour you! Bwahahaha! Go on, let's hear you run your mouth some more!"

"Then!"

Cornered, the Regressor thought of someone and shouted as though unveiling her trump card.

"Then we can ask someone who's definitely a woman!"

"Huh?"

Having read her thoughts, that was the only response I could muster.

"... And so, you wish me to wash the King of Dogs?"

After hearing the Regressor's explanation, the vampire's delicate brows drew together slightly. Despite being the one who had fetched her, the Regressor's voice grew quieter as she spoke.

"Uh, um. But there wasn't really anyone else to ask..."

'Still, was asking Tyrkanzyaka to do a chore like this too much...?'

She had fetched the vampire because she didn't want to lose to me, but this was a vampire who had lived for twelve hundred years, the Queen of Shadows who had once ruled half the world. And she wanted to put her to work like a maid.

Was this spoiled petulance, or arrogance?

The vampire made no effort to hide her displeasure either.

"Is that the sole reason you summoned me all the way to this rooftop?"

"Ugh..."

Hehehe. Serves you right, Regressor. The world doesn't always go your way, does it? Shall I pile on a little more?

Finishing move: the meddling sister-in-law!

I sidled up to the vampire and whispered like a scheming courtier.

"Good heavens. Apparently so. That wet-behind-the-ears brat dares put an elder to work! Washing a filthy dog, no less! Really, it's so absurd you're speechless, isn't it? With your seniority, Trainee Tyrkanzyaka, even sitting respectfully beside you at meals and spoon-feeding you wouldn't be enough. No! Even chewing your food for you wouldn't be enough, and yet she puts you to work? The insolent little—give that brat a good smack. Aaagh!"

Why me?!

A blood-red fist formed in midair and lightly struck my head as it swept past. The vampire cast a glance at me where I had collapsed to the ground.

"There is no end to your impertinence. Insolent or not, that is still my pupil. This is no matter for a nobody like you to meddle in."

"Uuuugh..."

"Stop making such a fuss. I struck you gently."

Gently? Not brutally?

I hadn't sensed any particular hostility, so I'd let her hit me, but that hurt way too much! Then again, she could shrug off getting shot with a mere "How curious," so how would she know what an ordinary human felt? Vampires didn't understand human pain. From now on, I would never trust these people's intention to hit me gently.

The vampire now turned her gaze on the thoroughly cowed Regressor.

'Tsk. Yes. Simply being a spoiled child. What good would pressing the matter do?'

Softening a little, the vampire quietly admonished her.

"And Shei, quite apart from your presumptuous behavior, I cannot grant your request."

"Oh, um. Sorry. I was too..."

"No. It is a matter of ability. I lack the ability to wash the King of Dogs."

The vampire stepped down from her coffin and slowly approached Azi. As always, she moved gently, without a shred of hostility. She simply walked across the ground with lofty dignity.

"For the King of Dogs will not entrust herself to me."

And Azi reacted.

With the Regressor and me around, Azi would not show her displeasure even when uncomfortable. She had stayed still and watched, both when I'd held her in my arms and turned on the water, and when the Regressor had stopped me.

But as the vampire drew near, she flinched uneasily. Azi had stayed beside me or the Regressor even under the threat of getting wet, yet the closer the vampire came, the more her cheeks twitched as she bared her teeth.

As though Azi's reaction was only natural, the vampire nodded and explained.

"I am not among the living. The King of Dogs feels no goodwill toward me. This friend of humanity, this Beast King whose kind tamed itself, will always show you the same goodwill, even when displeased."

GRRR.

A low growl. A howl expressing her discomfort and warning the vampire not to approach. It was a wild declaration of intent, fundamentally different from the petulance she showed me.

"But that courtesy does not extend to a corpse such as me."

The vampire faced Azi for a moment, then turned sharply away. Azi's growling subsided. With soft footfalls, her hazy steps bearing no sense of weight, the vampire walked away, cold and alone.

"Long, long ago, Beast Kings raised by human hands were vampires' greatest enemies. Even Elders who could maintain their forms beneath the sun could not conceal their identities from a Beast King. Among them, the King of Dogs, who favors humans alone, was our greatest enemy... They would not attack humans, but freely displayed their hostility toward vampires."

Once the vampire was far enough away, Azi lost interest and sat down again. Turning back from a little distance, the vampire spoke with resignation, her voice faintly lonely.

"The king of this generation is no different. Now that you know, you understand why my assistance would be useless."

"Uh..."

Within that resignation was the murmur of someone peeled away from the flow of time, all the sadder for its composure. The Regressor fidgeted, at a loss for what to do.

'It's my fault. I let that man provoke me and brought Tyrkanzyaka here for nothing... I still need so much help from her, and now I've hurt her feelings.'

I couldn't believe she was blaming me even now... Provocation? It was the fault of whoever took the bait. Who told you to have such a short fuse?

The Regressor shot me a resentful glare, then approached the vampire.

"Um, Tyrkanzyaka."

"What is it? Have you more tasks for your teacher?"

The vampire answered casually, but that only made her feel more distant. Unable to find the right words, the Regressor swallowed them. In the end, there was only one thing she could say at a time like this.

What you said when you had nothing to say was always the same. An apology.

"Tyrkanzyaka. I'm sorry..."

"Now, now."

But that was the wrong answer. An apology was a bandage for the heart. An act of erecting a wall between oneself and the wound in the other person's heart.

Tsk. Self-destructing over a little teasing. This made teasing her hardly worth the trouble. Apparently, in thirteen regressions she'd learned everything except social skills.

Should I lend her a little hand?