『This is an emergency. Wake up immediately.』

It came like a surprise attack.

Approaching under cover of night, it was so stealthy that it made not even a footstep. Without breath, body heat, or even life, it had already reached my side by the time I noticed it.

『This is an emergency. Wake up immedia... Three attempts, all unsuccessful. By inductive reasoning, I conclude that further repetition would be pointless.』

Something approached me in my sleep and chattered away. Its voice was as faint as its body was small. Was it a fairy, the sort that supposedly slipped in and out while you slept?

But this fairy apparently couldn't fly. It couldn't climb onto a bed that was only knee-high, instead hopping up and down below to peer over the edge.

Ignoring the faint presence, I tried to go back to sleep. Forget the Tooth Fairy—even Santa Claus couldn't disturb my slumber. Whatever its business was, I hoped it would hurry up and finish while I slept, then leave...

『In accordance with the emergency response manual, I will activate the forced awakening protocol.』

There was a sharp sound of air being sucked in.

『WEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOO!』

“Aaaaaaaah!”

The deafening blast rattled my ears. I kicked off the covers and bolted upright. Calming my pounding heart, I looked down to find a dimly gleaming crystal orb looking up at me.

“Golem?”

『I am Captain AB, a communications officer of the Military State. An emergency has left me no choice but to...』

“How dare you wake me. Today, I shall put an end to your long years of service. Time to return to the scrapyard. Trainee Shei! The golem is escap—!”

The golem kicked my shin with all its might. The attack came from far below eye level. Unable to read the golem's thoughts, I could neither dodge nor resist.

Worse, the golem was made of steel, several times tougher than my body. And a collision between a shin and another object was an honest battle decided solely by strength and hardness.

My eyes went wide with excruciating pain.

“G-ggh.”

Mouth hanging open, I clutched my shin and sank onto the bed. Tears leaked from my eyes. I glared at the golem, my gaze a mixture of rage, resentment, and pain. The golem looked back, using its creaking arms to fit its twisted leg frame back into place.

『There is no time. I am warning you. Respond immediately.』

“Urgh, to what? What on earth is so important that you have to wake me up and make a fuss in the middle of the night?”

『An intruder. Someone is attempting to break in.』

“What? An intruder?”

I mulled over the golem's words for a moment.

So someone was breaking into Tantalus right now? And the golem had detected it and wanted me to stop them.

An intruder invading one's home. Normally, that would put anyone on edge. Yet I felt none of the tension that ought to have come.

Clutching my aching leg, I lay back down on the bed.

“Are you sure you're not confusing an intruder with someone in distress? Sounds like somebody lost their footing and fell.”

Breaking into Tantalus? That was no different from swimming in the sky or grilling meat underwater. The subject and predicate simply didn't match. Why break into a place you couldn't leave once you entered, with nothing worth stealing?

“It's not the Resistance or something again, is it? If the Resistance is invading again, the Military State is incompetent. Seriously.”

Of course, carrying a bomb made it an exception. With a bomb, a person could sail through the sky, and meat could cook underwater.

Bombs solved most things you thought impossible. So whenever you hit an obstacle, try using a bomb if you happen to have one handy.

『We cannot determine his intentions. He is carrying nothing, after all. However, that very uncertainty makes this all the more urgent.』

“Nothing? Hmm. Judging by the night-lights, it must be nighttime outside, too. Oh, come on. Like that story about some famous philosopher, he must have fallen in while looking up at the stars instead of watching his feet. Let's just pray for his soul.”

『... Simply falling is not enough to enter this place. He clearly threw himself into the bottomless pit with the intention of coming here.』

“Look, I'm telling you, that makes no sense. Who on earth would have business here? Well, when he gets here, I'll keep him fed, so come pick him up or something.”

At my nonchalant attitude, the golem stopped speaking and began studying me. I narrowed my eyes in turn, questioning it with my gaze.

A brief staring contest followed. I won.

『... You are skilled at this sort of negotiation. Do you mean that you will not act unless given the relevant information?』

“Huh? What?”

『Permission granted. By raising your watch level by one, I will temporarily increase your information access privileges.』

“No, what are you talking about?”

Why were you raising my watch level without asking? What on earth did that mean? I just couldn't be bothered to get up.

『Tantalus lies in the bottomless pit. A land completely separated from the surface. It is absolutely impossible to reach by ordinary means.』

“Ordinary means?”

『Falling. An ordinary fall will merely leave you lost in the bottomless pit. It cannot bring you to the specific coordinates of Tantalus.』

“Since when has falling been an ordinary, everyday means of transportation? Historically, a fall has been a quick and easy one-way ticket to heaven.”

That was a little different from the common sense I knew. Just what you'd expect from the Military State. A crazy country that abused even common sense.

Oh, wait.

“But I was just thrown into the bottomless pit in restraints...? Ah, I get it. That wasn't the ordinary part, was it?”

『... If you understand, I will move on.』

Hurriedly cutting me off, the golem continued its report.

『Under normal circumstances, no one without the Military State's authorization can ever reach Tantalus. For that reason, despite its being a Level 5 facility, we installed no particular security measures even at the prison entrance.』

“Well, that's the Military State's fault. So complacent about what's supposed to be a vital facility. Tsk, tsk.”

『... Regardless.』

I heard a crackle just now. Hopefully, that wasn't a circuit in the golem snapping.

『While monitoring the interior and exterior of Tantalus, I detected approximately seven minutes ago that the illusion encompassing the bottomless pit had been broken. I immediately came to find you, the only personnel currently available. The intruder is heading directly here and is expected to arrive in approximately three minutes.』

“So. What do you want me to do?”

『If possible, eliminate him.』

“Why do you people keep trying to kill everyone? Do you get restless if you go a single day without killing someone?”

First the undying one, now this person falling down here. Whenever anything happened, they told me to kill someone. I waved a hand in emphatic refusal.

“How is an upstanding citizen like me, who can't even kill a dog, supposed to kill someone? Stop talking nonsense.”

『Question. In that case, how did you dispose of the Resistance?』

“The blades stayed still. They shoved their own necks against them. Picking a fight with Trainee Shei, showing off a rosary in front of Trainee Tyrkanzyaka. Refined suicide with an extra twist, wouldn't you say? Well, if they'd intended to live in the first place, they wouldn't have dropped down here carrying bombs.”

In any case, if someone was coming, I had to go out and meet them. It would make things easier to read their intentions beforehand and determine whether I could use them. If they proved utterly useless, I'd have to use the Regressor and the vampire to kill them.

Since I was going out anyway, getting a little information from the golem along the way was a modest bonus. I put on my clothing packet and prepared to leave.

“All right, all right. I'll go take a look. Wait here.”

The golem hurriedly grabbed my trouser leg.

『Please take this unit with you. I have a duty to observe abnormal occurrences in Tantalus.』

“No thanks. You're heavy.”

『You are a laborer assigned to Tantalus and are obligated to follow my instructions as the officer responsible for this location. If you do not wish to incur penalties for insubordination, comply with my orders.』

“Did you think I'd listen if you talked that stiffly? Oh, my feelings are so hurt, I don't even have the strength to lift a golem.”

As I made a theatrical show of distress, the golem realized threats no longer worked and spoke.

『... What do you want? I warn you in advance: demanding material compensation from a soldier on official duty is a serious crime.』

“I'm not looking to get anything out of a golem. Just act a little cute. Adorable. Preferably something childish, with a babyish lisp.”

『... There is no time...』

“Exactly. Better hurry if you don't want to be late. Now, how do you want me to carry you? On my shoulders? A piggyback ride?”

『...』

A grinding sound came from the golem. I worried that part of its frame might have broken. I whistled leisurely.

After perhaps three little whistles, a voice came from the golem through gritted teeth.

『A-a piggyback... ride... if you please.』

“Aw. Still a little stiff at the end. Your body may be hard, but your heart should be soft.”

A sharp snap came through the microphone, like a reed stalk breaking. After some indescribable interference, a trembling voice began to emerge.

『Piggy... back... Pwease... big brother...』

“I never told you to call me big brother. Still, it's much more comfortable when you speak gently. Isn't it nice when we all get along?”

Anyway, how could I refuse a request from my darling little sister?

I lifted the golem onto my shoulders. It had asked for a piggyback ride, but I worried that would obstruct its view. A small act of consideration on my part.

With the golem's legs dangling over my shoulders, I stepped into the corridor.

“Oh, for the record, I did follow the Military State's orders. It's not like I offered a bribe. If you penalize me for this, you'll be the one letting personal feelings influence your assessment. Surely a Military State communications officer wouldn't give false testimony out of personal spite?”

『---!!!』

“Is it broken? There seems to be some problem with the connection. Why can't I hear a human voice?”

I swaggered along, deliberately swaying my upper body from side to side to give the golem a little thrill. The golem grabbed my hair in its hard fists and pulled. I heard hairs popping free at the roots.

Okay. It had found my weak point. Let's not do that again.