My breathing slowly settled. As my gasps grew less frequent, the memories that had come pouring out began to fall into order. I still hadn't remembered everything, but the memories of the old comrade who had faced my sword came back vividly.

Ray.

Though I didn't know whether I had any right to speak his name. Or to cry like this.

But the tears wouldn't stop so easily. I cried quietly for a long time before wiping them away again.

I might as well have killed him myself.

I remembered Lee Seunghyeon, too. A soldier recruited from Korea. A man born with a gift for combat. I remembered marveling at his skill...

And I remembered his smile.

He hardly ever smiled. His default expression was not so much blank as a faint frown, even though he had been so very young when we first met. It wasn't that he couldn't get along with his comrades, but he was never someone you could relax around. I remembered always keeping a certain distance myself.

But twice, and only twice, Lee Seunghyeon had smiled with genuine radiance as his comrades congratulated him.

“I remember now,” I murmured dazedly to myself.

The tears had stopped pouring out, but the shock hadn't entirely faded.

“Lee Seunghyeon was an orphan.”

Still kneeling and looking up at me, Yehyeon quietly nodded.

The recovered memories were accurate. I used to have brief conversations with him when he was young. Of all the human soldiers I had taught, he had been by far the most skilled. Lee Seunghyeon was a man who didn't really know how to give love. He had never been properly cared for himself.

Not that it justified abusing his son.

Even so, on exactly two occasions, he had smiled with pure, unclouded joy.

When he announced that he was getting married.

And when he announced that he had a child on the way.

Only those two times.

Which meant...

“So you're that child.”

In a daze, I looked down at the man sitting before me. Looking at him like this, Lee Yehyeon really did resemble Lee Seunghyeon. His features were much softer, but their arrangement was exactly the same.

I remembered congratulating Lee Seunghyeon so warmly on becoming a father.

“And now you're all grown up.”

Without thinking, I stroked the head of the man looking up at me. Yehyeon's eyes widened a little, but he didn't move.

Wow, they really did look alike. Even the dark eyes and hair were the same.

That soft black hair...

...

... Hm?

His head?

Yehyeon's head?

“Aaaah!”

I screamed and jerked away. Yehyeon, who had been gazing quietly up at me, jerked back too, his eyes widening. In an instant, a gap opened between us. I froze with my hand pulled against my body, while Yehyeon froze on his feet.

Silence fell over the living room. We remained rigid in the tense air for a while, doing nothing but staring at each other with wide, startled eyes.

The only sound was Yun slurping his coffee.

Yehyeon broke the silence first.

“Is something wrong, sir?”

“Aaah! Please don't speak so respectfully to me!”

Why was he speaking respectfully to me? He was the commander! Why was he speaking respectfully to me?

Horrified, I shook out the stupid hand that had been stroking Yehyeon's head.

“I'm sorry!”

“Pardon? I mean, huh?”

“It won't happen again. I'm so sorry!”

“Well, the hierarchy's fucked,” Yun observed dryly.

He alone was sitting calmly on the sofa drinking coffee, legs crossed and one hand draped over the backrest. Without so much as batting an eye, my training officer added,

“This is even worse than Richard's case. What do you say? Should I start showing you some deference too?”

“Aaaaah!”

No!

I shot to my feet.

“Please don't, sir!”

“What?”

“I don't want it! I don't want deference!”

“Why are you fighting it so hard?”

“Treat me like a new recruit!” I cried with all my heart.

“Treat me like a greenhorn, just like you have been!”

My training officer barely listened. Keeping his gaze fixed on me, he brought his coffee cup to his lips. One eyebrow rose silently. His cold, pitch-black eyes scrutinized my face.

It was so like him to seem no different even after hearing all of that.

I looked earnestly at Yun.

“What does age matter in an organization, my esteemed senior, sir?”

“Oh. An admirable attitude.”

Yun feigned surprise and set his coffee cup on the table.

“And yet, with convictions like that, you go around patting your highest-ranking superior on the head?”

“Aaah! I'm sorry!”

I must have lost my mind!

Looking close to tears, I bowed deeply to Yehyeon again. Flustered, he tried to stop me. My highest-ranking superior came over, told me to lift my head, then turned to Yun. His brows drawing together, he scolded him.

“Yun. Don't.”

Yun looked at Yehyeon and lifted one corner of his mouth.

“Don't what?”

“Don't torment Hilde for no reason. Besides, in private, I really should be speaking respectfully to him.”

“No, you shouldn't.”

That was so absurd I couldn't help turning grave. Yun lowered his head and began chuckling. Yehyeon turned back to me, his already large eyes widening. My highest-ranking superior blinked a couple of times before asking,

“Do you find it that unpleasant, sir?”

“Yes. No, please.”

Why did he keep talking like that?

“Please just treat me the way you used to.”

“Hmm... I can, if that's what you want, but...”

Amazingly, Yehyeon hesitated. The blood slowly drained from my face. As I stood before him feeling increasingly faint, he slowly added,

“I was told you taught my father swordsmanship.”

Ah. That was true.

Lee Seunghyeon had been an exceptional student. Better than anyone else I had ever taught.

“I learned the swordsmanship you passed on to my father, and I heard the voice message you left. So even setting age aside, it's only natural that I show you respect in private—”

“It is not natural.”

What about this was natural?

But my superior only blinked at me. His expression suggested a simple request wouldn't persuade him.

Left with no choice, I began begging him to please treat me as he had before. I apologized profusely for everything: the things I had blurted out without thinking while hyperventilating, and the way I had stupidly lost my senses and stroked his head. I eagerly laid bare my shortcomings, asking whether he knew how pathetic my skills were now, whatever I might have been in the past.

I kept at it for quite a while, ignoring Yun's laments about the utterly fucked-up hierarchy.

Until Yehyeon's work phone rang, changing the mood.

* * *

In the end, we didn't settle the matter of how to address each other until the following morning.

At eight a.m., I was summoned from the cabin and once again set about persuading my two seniors.

Fortunately, Yun soon promised to treat me as he always had. He didn't know how ancient I was, he said, but my skills were still rubbish, so I was still a raw new recruit.

Those rough words moved me more than I could say. I thanked my training officer from the bottom of my heart.

Then I switched targets to Yehyeon and began my appeal. My highest-ranking superior hesitated for a long time.

“But you'll speak informally to my father, won't you?”

“Well, that's because he was my stud—because your father is an old acquaintance of mine. You're my highest-ranking superior, Commander.”

“In an official setting, of course we should respect each other's rank. But in private like this...”

“I haven't even recovered all my memories yet.”

I was desperate.

“At least wait until I've recovered all my memories and can pull my own weight before you start showing me deference.”

That argument was accepted.

Our conversation returned to the way it had been. As my superior naturally resumed speaking to me as his junior, a little peace entered my heart. I pressed a palm to my chest and sighed with relief.

Of course, that peace didn't last.

Yehyeon, who strangely wasn't getting ready for work, watched my relief and asked,

“So, do you want to hold your sword again?”

I stiffened reflexively. My chest hurt as though pierced by sharp glass. Last night, I had at least managed to force myself to ignore that pain and try to sleep.

My sword, stained with Ray's blood.

If I asked for it back, Yehyeon would surely hand it over gladly. Perhaps he had been waiting for that day ever since I arrived here.

But I wasn't sure yet.

The morning felt oddly like a weekend. Was it because Yehyeon showed no intention of going to work? Clear morning sunlight poured in through the living room's full-length windows. The scent of early-morning air drifted through the open kitchen window.

Taking in those cool sensations with my sharpened senses, I answered.

“I don't want to hold it until I've regained my skills.”

My superior listened quietly to that weighty answer.

“You may think it foolish, but I feel I owe that much respect...”

To Ray, and to my sword, which must have slept for so long.

I trailed off, but neither of them asked. Yehyeon simply nodded, watching me with an unreadable expression. I was grateful they didn't press me. I still hadn't properly sorted through the past I had recalled.

Suppressing the guilt and self-loathing that were hollowing out my chest, I thanked him.

“Thank you.”

“No need,” Yehyeon replied briefly.

“Let me know when it's time.”

“Yes, sir. Please look after it a little longer.”

“Of course.”

He readily agreed, then fell into thought.

He stood still in the pale morning sunlight. Only when Yun lazily rose from the sofa and approached, saying, “Let's go,” did he look at me again.

I wasn't sure whom Yun had been addressing. Yehyeon told me,

“Then let's go spar.”

“Pardon?”

“With swords,” my superior said casually.

“Let's have a sword match, Hilde. I need to see your skills.”

I stared at Yehyeon. Several thoughts crossed my mind, but I asked only the question I was most curious about.

“Do you have a sword, Commander?”

Or was he going to use mine?

Perhaps understanding the meaning behind my question, Yehyeon smiled bitterly.

“I haven't wielded your sword since that day.”

There was an apologetic note in his explanation, though I didn't know why.

“I've never shown it to anyone else, or spoken about it in detail. I have taken it out from time to time to maintain it myself. I do worry that my care might not meet your standards...”

“No,” I replied softly.

Then, looking into the dark eyes that always seemed to hold sadness, I said,

“Thank you for taking such good care of my sword.”

It was the possession I had loved most. So much so that simply learning it still existed filled me with longing. Even knowing it was stained with Ray's blood, I couldn't suppress that yearning.

Though even I couldn't know what I would feel when I actually held it again.

Whatever the case, I was grateful to the man who had cherished the sword I had passed down.

Once my skills returned, I would be able to hold my longsword again.

“Would you spar with me?”

I raised my head to ask. Yehyeon smiled sadly and nodded.