There was an enormous training gym a short jog from the cabin. We went there to warm up. My seniors handed me a sleek sword, almost identical in shape to my own.

We barely spoke. Once we were ready to spar, Yehyeon took his sword and stood opposite me. Yun was there to observe.

The morning air washed the gym floor white. The spacious gym smelled of fresh morning air.

Yehyeon lowered his blade to the floor.

"I'll only use the sword."

He meant he wouldn't use the shape-shifting weapon glinting silver in his ear.

"Since you said your skills haven't fully returned yet."

"Yes, sir."

Still, I ought to put on a better showing than when I'd been slaughtering mushrooms. I nodded, sword in hand. Yehyeon watched me intently with his pitch-black eyes.

The atmosphere changed in an instant, drawing taut with tension. My opponent charged without a sound.

CLANG!

Our swords flashed as they collided, blades locked in an X. I could feel the force behind Yehyeon's sword.

Both our swords trembled slightly. When an opponent pressed this hard, it was better to draw my sword upward and go for their neck than try to push through. I slid my blade up his, lowering the point. Then, straight at his exposed throat...

CLANG!

Yehyeon wound his sword upward in the same motion. Our blades formed an X, both points angled down. Almost simultaneously, we slid our swords free and put distance between us.

... No. I'd been a second slower. As Yehyeon pushed aside my upturned sword, there had been a fleeting opening for him to go for my throat. Had he been fighting in earnest, he would have driven his point into my neck in that second.

"I lost."

At my mutter, Yehyeon gave a small laugh.

"We're not finished yet, Hilde."

"Yes, sir."

I drank in the memories of swordsmanship that came flooding back as our blades met. Gripping the sword, unfamiliar but not uncomfortable in my hands, I smiled faintly.

"Please, keep going."

Rather than answer, Yehyeon charged with his sword. The sound of the blade slicing through the air struck my ears.

* * *

Several dozen minutes later, I lay collapsed on the floor, consumed by self-loathing.

"You really do heal slowly... We shouldn't have used live blades. Yun, the first-aid kit, please."

"Hey, you've improved a lot!"

Yehyeon looked down at me, his voice troubled, while Yun marveled beside him without a care.

The sparring was over. It hadn't taken very long. All it had left me with was a crushing sense of inadequacy. I hadn't hoped to win, but facing reality still hit hard.

How had I ended up like this?

My two seniors gathered beside me where I lay sprawled. I shifted my eyes and saw my training officer looking down at me, stroking his chin.

"You've improved by leaps and bounds since I last saw you fight. Getting knocked around in that subway definitely seems to have helped."

"Yun, I asked you to get the first-aid... Never mind. I'll get it."

"I'll get it, sir."

At my superior's words, I reflexively shot upright.

But Yehyeon's palm immediately stopped me. A firm "Stay still" froze me in place. He sprang to his feet and disappeared from view through a door at the far end of the gym.

I hadn't managed to leave a single scratch on that pale, thin man. Sparring with Yehyeon had been uncannily like facing my past self. It was a strange feeling. His swordsmanship was astonishingly identical to mine. I knew every technique he used.

I was simply a second slower than him, every time.

That made it all the more awful. Utterly familiar techniques came at me as though I were fighting a mirror, but my body was too sluggish to counter a single one. My mind knew how to respond efficiently, yet my body couldn't keep up. It was more of a shock than when Richard had pronounced me "a useless new recruit who doesn't even know the basics of shooting."

Reality was too cruel.

As I sat there, unable to shake my self-loathing, Yun crouched to meet my eyes.

"I don't think you need any more sword lessons from me."

"What? You just saw me get thoroughly minced."

"That's a matter of speed. And time's the only answer to that."

My training officer fell into thought. I waited glumly for his verdict. Even when Yehyeon returned and gave the same assessment—that my skills would return with time—it did nothing to improve my mood.

Yehyeon treated my stab wounds with a troubled expression.

"I didn't realize you healed this slowly. You must have had a rough time of it."

"Not at all."

It was the people around me who'd had a rough time, not me. All I had to do was pass out. When I woke up, an exceptionally skilled doctor treated me at the organization's expense, and I got officially sanctioned time off work. What hardship had I suffered? I was simply grateful, every time, to the seniors who hauled me to a hospital bed.

When I explained this, Yehyeon sighed.

"So it's true that you don't take care of yourself."

"I love myself. I don't know why everyone keeps saying that."

"Don't ignore Yun's coaching and push yourself too hard trying to get your skills back. Only time can fix this."

My superior brushed my objection aside. I could only nod bitterly. I knew perfectly well that they were right. It just left a bitter taste to accept it.

Yun, who had been silently thinking, looked up.

"Isn't it about time we started sending him on missions around the outskirts inside the core?"

"Yes."

Yehyeon readily nodded.

"Go ahead."

Well, that was progress. I should focus on the fact that I'd improved.

We tidied up and left the gym. Yehyeon said he'd taken the day off. Having already spent time in hospital, he couldn't take a long break; he planned to see to some personal matters and return to work tomorrow.

As we walked along the autumn path, a little warmer now, I thanked him for spending the morning of his day off on me. In his position, even taking a single day off couldn't have been easy.

Yun laid out my schedule. Physical training would continue as before, and we would begin shooting practice. On my next mission, Riccardo would act as my training officer in his place. We would be heading to the outskirts, my first stop inside the core, but he told me to get the details from Riccardo.

Before I knew it, we'd reached the cabin as I walked and listened. It was nice to have the day's work finished in the morning. My seniors told me to rest and turned away.

I hesitated, watching their backs as they headed toward their house. Then I gathered my courage.

"Yehyeon."

Yun and Yehyeon whipped their heads around at tremendous speed. Both seemed startled. The sight of them frozen in place, staring at me with wide eyes, was funny. Not that I felt at ease enough to smile.

I stood blankly before them as they waited for me to explain. In truth, I still wasn't certain it was right to say this. After a long hesitation, I spoke.

"I may be overstepping my bounds..."

"What is it? Speak freely."

Yehyeon leaned toward me, his eyes widening.

"What's wrong?"

Those large, kind eyes. My chest ached. Memory worked in such mysterious ways. Once its doors opened, all manner of memories poured out without mercy. Just seeing those worried eyes waiting for an answer brought a flood of memories that almost choked me.

It wasn't easy to answer.

"I met Lee Seunghyeon's wife. Your mother."

Yehyeon looked as though something had struck him over the head.

"I'm hesitant to bring it up, but I thought you might want to know... It was a brief meeting, and I don't have any photographs. Still, if you'd like, I'll do my best to tell you everything I know."

I doubted Lee Seunghyeon would have allowed him that.

I finished quietly and waited for his reaction. Yehyeon remained frozen for a long while. Uneasy, I waited for him to recover from the shock as he stood beneath the clear sunlight warming his body.

I didn't know if this was the right thing to do. Perhaps I'd needlessly stirred up pain in someone who'd been living in peace. Simply hearing this might wound him deeply. I'd brought it up in the hope that it would comfort him, but that judgment might have been my own arrogance.

Yun and I waited in silence for his answer. Only after a long time did Yehyeon haltingly break the silence.

"...name. Can I ask?"

"Sorry? I didn't quite catch that."

"Her name."

His reply was thick with emotion.

"My mother's name."

He hadn't even told him that? What had the child ever done wrong? I barely managed to keep my face from twisting.

The war had broken out after Yehyeon was fully grown. I'd handed my sword over to a human during the war. That meant I must have been spending my days on Earth throughout his childhood, adolescence, and passage into adulthood.

Why hadn't I known Lee Seunghyeon was treating his child this way? If I'd known, I would have slapped him across the face and told him to come to his senses. If that hadn't worked, I would have gone and given the child affection myself. I could easily have done that. If only I'd paid a little more attention to Lee Seunghyeon.

I swallowed back the guilt rising in my throat. Then I answered.

"Sasha."

Like Lee Seunghyeon, she had been an orphan.

"She had no surname."

"Sasha."

Yehyeon murmured the name dazedly.

"Sasha..."

My past self had made far too many mistakes. I hadn't even remembered everything yet, but everywhere I set foot was littered with my failings.

I remembered Ray. The comrade whose affection for me had cost him his life on my blade. I remembered Kyle. The comrade who'd pointed his sword at me, his eyes filled with betrayal and hostility.

And Lee Seunghyeon and Lee Yehyeon.

My God. I hadn't even known Sasha had died in childbirth. Lee Seunghyeon hadn't told me, and I hadn't so much as asked whether his child was a boy or a girl. I'd noticed that he'd grown darker at some point, but I'd assumed he had simply caught the scent of the approaching war.

How stupid...

"Thank you."

Yehyeon's thick murmur brought me back to the present.

"Truly."

I didn't even know if I deserved his thanks.

I nodded, conflicting emotions on my face. Yehyeon was still half dazed, and it took him a long time to fully collect himself. After thanking me again, he asked whether he could ask more later, once he'd sorted out his thoughts. I could feel how hard he was struggling to contain his emotions.

Of course I could tell him everything. Yehyeon smiled and thanked me. I pretended not to see the tears welling in his eyes.

* * *

A reply from Shu was waiting.

[I'll buy you a meal. When are you free?]